im done I don’t trust god anymore

my home life is bad. parents are hoarders. they never listened to my issues. neighbors hate us. never had opportunity to bring friends into home. poor social life in hs.

often bullied by ppl who got into stupid ivies or other good schools. I felt excluded by my old Catholic Church group which is the biggest reason why I’m not confirmed - no one was welcoming. if my old church group didn’t include me what does that say about god?

worked hard to make up bad life in hs while at college. sacrificed social life for working full time. app cycle not turning out great despite the grades and experience.

nothing has changed these past years. feels like everything is repeating. Parents house is still a hoarding mess. Despite understanding them, parents still don’t listen. my hard work has never been recognized. Been taken advantage of by my peers.

Prayed more. Went to church more. Read the bible more. Forgave ppl. Reconciled sins. talked to father for further support. Litany of trust. trying hard to stay away from sin. God has not answered me.

He has not been with me in my suffering

When I try to amend the challenges I face in life he destroys it

god has not answered me the past years that I suffered

I asked for strength and things only got worse

He has not done anything except add more to this suffering

He knows I don’t learn from this. Why continue? all people say is to trust him more, be a good servant, and to hold onto hope. But I’m done. I’m tired.