What no emotional support or real friends does to a girl

1. She questions her own life

2. She wonders id shes worthy of livinf

3. She feels like shit but has to pretend she doesnt

4. She recognizes that shes not fit for this world

I hate having conversations with people irl like ew im so awkward and weird theyre probably so uncomfortable by my awkwardness but sorry im not mentally realky there and i dont even want to live if im being honest. its so scary yet comforting to hot rockbottom on a random sunday night or saturday night idk have my days mixed up when i should be mentally preparing myself i have to go to school on monday fuck i havent been in school for mo ths and i have no friends that really care about me and i have to pretend and act like im interested in their life and thst im okay omg im gonna go insane i cant imagine having to do this forever omg it makes me wan to not be alive why do i bave to kive fnis kife i really hate fhis is it even worh if??