I slept with a prostitute and I cant live with myself

For back story. This was a while ago now but my life was in shambles. I was severely depressed and going through the worst ive ever have had to go through. My grandpa passed along with my dad almost killing himself and then getting divorced. Also at this time was a breakup and a sister who made me flee my house. I have struggled with depression since I was about 13. Its been a part of me but hasn't got that bad until now. Growing up I was chubby and got bullied for it but that wasn't the cause of it. I would say the main cause of everything was being manipulated by people I cared about and then hung out to dry when I need them. But about the incident. The depression was getting bad and I was thinking about kms. I have tried before and it didnt work. But this time was gonna he a for sure thing I had planned to use a gun in my gun safe. I was scared being irrational and stupid. I asked my buddy at the time what I should do. He couldn't come help me because he was out of town so he said that you need a person rn that can take care of you. He thought I should see a prostitute. Me being oblivious to what it was I agreed. I had an idea of what it was and I knew what they did but I didnt know the conditions some of them stay in and that some of them have to do this to survive. I did some research after the fact and feel even worse about it. I went over and she greeted me and let me in. I was terrified of what was happening. Every thing in my head was saying leave. But I had tunnel vision and didnt listen to myself. I sat down and she asked me to strip. I almost said no but I went along anyways. I was sitting there with my heart pounding. She came up and asked if I wanted her to suck it I said no but she decided to make some more money off me and went anyways. I didnt say anything other than that no the entire interaction. I paid her full and I didnt argue about the me saying no part. I just wanted out of there. I left as quick as I could. I drove home had a shower and that's when I gained my consciousness back. A horrible feeling of shame and guilt arose. I couldn't believe that I had done something like that. If it were my friend I would say that you had needs and payed to get them fulfilled so be it. But I camt give myself the same kindness id give to others. Part of me doesnt feel like I should live after this. I feel like im a person that slept with a prostitute. And not the nice guy everyone says I am. I'm not pumping myself up here this is just what I get told. Anyways. I'm worried about my future. I'm worried that this past of mine will inhibit me from having a family. The one dream of mine is to have a family. I want to be a dad and a husband but I'm worried that this unbelievably dumb mistake will make me lose my dream. I know people say keep it to yourself but I cant withhold something that might be a deal breaker from a partner. I've tried to start praying and reading the Bible but I also feel like im only doing it to forget this mistake. Its not what I want to do, I want to become a better person and make myself a kinder man to redeem myself or something along those lines. But I feel like I shouldn't be here anymore because of it. Like I did the worse thing I the world. In my eyes I'm a horrible person. You may see me as that too and that's totally OK. But I'm asking for advice from people and if you want to leave a positive or negative comment its fine by me. Thank you for reading