I (22F) get stuck in my own head when my boyfriend (20M) is out with friends, and I don’t know how to stop spiraling.

I’m a 22-year-old female and my boyfriend is a 20-year-old male. I care about him a lot and I don’t want to be the kind of person who controls who he spends time with.

The problem is my brain sometimes spirals when I’m alone with my thoughts. I’ve struggled with feeling like I don’t deserve the amount of love I get, even though I’ve worked really hard to improve my mindset. It’s gotten a lot better, but sometimes it still hits me out of nowhere.

When it happens, I feel like I’m drowning in my own thoughts. It’s like I can’t steer my own brain. I either feel everything way too strongly, or I shut down completely and go numb. When I shut down, it hurts less, but I also stop feeling anything at all, which doesn’t seem healthy either.

Right now, my boyfriend is hanging out in a dorm with two friends who are girls. He’s told me they’re gay, and logically I trust him, but for some reason my brain still feels weird about it. I don’t want to bring it up because I don’t want to seem controlling or push him away. At the same time, keeping it inside makes me spiral even more.

I know that in the moment, everything feels worse than it actually is. I just don’t know how to stop my brain from going there in the first place.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of overthinking or emotional shutdown? How do you handle it without pushing your partner away?