My ex Dom keeps texting me

I walked away in February. The alcoholism and NPD pattern I came to find ( thanks to others in this sub, you guys are a life savor ).

I've been getting random texts, calls. I thought he'd back off. It's such a pain to change my number because I have many doctors and offices and literally just moved. And I am honestly emotionally vulnerable right now. Though feeling empowered, I'm dealing with trauma. From something else but also now having left my first Dom. Which broke my heart but he crossed several lines severely. Including harsh corrections in the car that were agreed upon. Yanked my hair to the point of whiplash several times. And while kissing me bit my lip to the point it caused a wound.

Between all that and his drinking and lying and moving the goal post about his intent without a discussion, I had to leave. It didn't even HIT me the physical assault part til weeks later. I told him I needed space due to the other elements and at first he was cordial and respectful. Then suddenly went off with deflection and blame and " I'm making progress with the drinking. I've been there for you I know I have ". I decided then space wasn't enough. And literally ended it. And while ending it, that's when the fact he assaulted me hit.

No I'm not going to the cops because the cops are literal shit here. When an ex would assault me they were useless " well he hasn't hit you NOW , so we're going to go. And he didn't mean he'd SH himself he was just upset. Nothing we can do " ( with said past ex and the cops, not my ex Dom ) . It's been a month since the assault from my ex Dom and I'm just exhausted. So I'm just trying to move on and process things.

I heard with NPD they don't fucking stop. Due to lack of " supply " and " NPD injury ". I was the one who walked, the discarder. So he's drowning in booze and lack of control and spiraling. Part of my heart feels for him, another part wants him to fester in the hurt he's caused, his only hurt being that lack of control and attention. Logical part of me is just pissed I may have to change my fucking number. It took over a year to get it changed with the University med team because their site is shit 😩

Yes I'm still hurt, it's still fresh. When he held me, called me Kitten, cradled me. And knowing it was a character for his ego. The gifts and love bombing, holding my face as I wept with a fever as he took care of me. While having a fucking bottle of vodka in the bed each night and saying hurtful shit an hour later. It was like two different people.

The experience itself taught me things. It did. What I enjoy, being a sub for the first time, the space, the drop. He dealt with the drop well, even if he was playing a part. And I ofcourse doted him with affection and servitude. A kind he had never experienced before and melted to. And he probably will never know again since he deals with equally drunken chaos and I came to him sober and clear headed and open.

I also walked away knowing what I won't deal with. I know the heart sting will fade. I just wish he'd let me go.