Abandoning others with no empathy?

I have a horrible habit of talking to people romantically and then ghosting them. Not just through text but fully in person and I've hurt a few people in doing so. I'm not sure if I convince myself I have feelings for said people because if I had them they were very weak. After ghosting them I feel 0 empathy and don't think about them again.

I do the same with friends and have with family. I understand I probably have a deep rooted fear of becoming codependent again as I once was with my ex. He abandoned me along with a family member at the time, so this is probably where it comes from.

I've always had very small need to hangout with friends, so the friends I keep don't hangout often (I'm autistic, ADHD, etc. as well). This way I can drop of the face of the planet for a month and nothing changed. The issue is romantic relationships aren't like this. I feel nothing for the people I lead on and then ghost. I'm aware this is absolutely not ok. None of these instances have gotten past the talking stage.

I'm in autistic burnout right not which also contributes to my very low social battery. I convince myself to not get in these situations anymore because I'm aware I cannot be in a relationship. However, then I meet someone and convince myself this time it'll be different. I know it's because I'm terrified of being codependent again, so I've overcompensated. It's confusing because I don't feel anxious or any abrasion like I'm forcing myself to overcompensate? It's confusing since I'm diagnosed with BPD but the switches I have where something triggers me and I abandon people aren't emotional. I don't turn anything inward, express anything outward, they don't notice my behaviors changed I just leave.