I feel awful (long vent)

I feel so dysphoric every day it genuinely gets unbearable. I can’t even look at mirrors because I just look horrible I don’t feel like a real woman or sometimes even real just something parading as a cheap imitation of one. I live in Deep South heavy religious parents and a minor so it’s a long time before I can transition and added politics genuinely aren’t helping anything. Honestly my dysphoria gotten so bad I can only deal with it by cutting currently and honestly it feels like I can’t stop. I feel like I fail every thing and every one my family my friends and my own body