Maybe a sensitive topic

Either this sub has seen way too much of posts like this, in which case feel free to delete or it’s a really dumb or bringing down the mood kinda post so either way, feel free to delete lol.

I’m in a very weird situation right now. I myself suspect that I’m bi, pan, ace, or in any way just not fully straight. I’m a cis girl if that adds context (I reckon it does), and I can see myself ending up with people of all sorts of backgrounds, vibes, and sexual/romantic orientations of their own.

So it should be that I’m not insecure about anything, right? I should be accepting of everything and not have any internal judgement of others, right?

Well!

I’ve just recognised in myself a little more recently, as I’ve been getting slightly more comfortable getting out there and talking to people, that I might have some unaddressed internalised biphobia or something of the sort.

As I said, I deeply suspect that I am literally bi or pan, I have friends that are exactly that, so I should know better or at least feel better about it all.

But I still have this odd feeling I get when I find out that someone I might have some feelings for, especially guys for some reason, might be bi.

It’s not disgust or hatred or anything, it’s like a sort of insecurity? Which is so bizarre I know. Bi men are amazing, I unironically think that the aesthetic or vibe a lot of them seem drawn to is so charming and lovely. I don’t mean to generalise you bi guys lol but you are so cool I swear.

So why is it I have this deep seated biphobia that says “oh, you’re gonna have to compete with OTHER GUYS FOR HIS ATTENTION 🧌” or “that means he’s secretly confused and won’t know if he’s actually gay if you date him, you might get your heart broken”.

I know damn well that that’s all objectively untrue and extremely bigoted to think, and I know as someone with the knowledge that I could see myself with those of many or any gender that I personally would never cheat or lead someone on. SO WHY DO I PROJECT SUCH IDEAS ONTO GUYS?

Have any of you felt this way?