Dom need a help

I am an arab (M18). I like the BDSM content so much but I don't think I will find an Arabian woman that want to sub for me. I want to treat myself or find her. Can anyone advise me what should I do?

I have other problem, I think I like the sadism overall not just in the relationship. I want to see anyone that have a pain. In the first it was a big problem for me but now I can act normal and respect the limitations for the other person.

I only find submissive men not women. And they always want a dom waman not a man.

I don't know how to be a normal person in tge relationship. Can I treat my behavior?