I can either have pain or I can take meds and have no libido at all

For quite a while now I suffer from anorexia nervosa. Before that I had a good libido and a nice sex life with my husband-to-be.

But a few months in I realized a lot of different symptoms: crippling pain during and after sex, lots of discharge, swollen abdomen, pain when bowel was full etc. My period went missing not long after that and although I'm in recovery for a while now and try to eat normal again it hasn’t returned yet.

In the process I was regularly seeing doctors to treat my pain and find the cause and after 1,5 years thinking of endometriosis and adenomyosis its nothing like that. Last week it was revealed during an MRI and later confirmed during a transvaginal ultra sound that I have cysts in both of my ovaries. Both are swollen and filled up. They are permanently inflammed and it also causes adhesions to my hip and especially my bowel (which is the reason I'm in pain whenever I eat something).

Apparently its old follicles that grow but because there are zero hormones left in me they just stay in the ovaries, turning into cysts.

They want to bring me on hormonal treatment that eventually will impact my libido as well meaning that I won't have any libido even when the pain is gone. This, weight gain and depression are the reasons I stepped back from similar hormones that are also in birth control pills. It ALWAYS happened when I was on it.

My husband-to be is super patient but I don't think our sex life will ever return to the way it was. He makes no pressure and says he is fine although we went from 3-4 times a week penetrative sex to 1-2 months penetrative sex. Either I have pain without the hormonal treatment to the point I cry after sex and cant move for days or I'm on hormonal treatment, unable to feel any sexual excitement or even get wet. They want me to take it till menopause because I can’t get children most likely anyway.

I miss the intimacy like he does. Sex was special for both of us. Mostly I give head any other week to not loose the intimate connection between us entirely. I pretend its fun but it isn't because I never get fucking excited anymore.