To men - Sex is not reward for good behaviour. Learn to express sexual desires in a healthy way.

As a late bloomer, I realised this very late.

I'm not embarrassed - we all have our own journeys and challenges to overcome.

I don't feel any anger or resentment.

It's just something that I never realised and am sure most men out there are in this situation simply because we never had any role models to learn from.

I constantly help girls out, put in a tonne of effort, solve their life problems while secretly expecting that it'll lead to sex.

Instead they just see me as a reliable man to lean into when they face difficulties.

On the inside I seethe with anger but I kinda realised I'm asking them to fulfill their part of a contract they never signed up for in the first place.

When I try to make a move it's always "I don't wanna ruin what we have". At first I used to think they don't give a fuck or just taking advantage of me.

I do care a lot for them in other ways but I just wish they let me have some happiness too. I thought they just don't give a fuck about me at first.

But they do deeply care about me, they also will go out of their way to help me out. These women will put in efforts for me but just don't let me have sex.

They're 2 different tracks.

I was always being a therapist, a friend, an over reliable guy to them. Not a lover.

I wasn't being a lover.

The only times I had success was by expressing my intent clearly and making moves without hesitation if she's responding well.

So yes. I'm learning how to express sexual and romantic desires in a healthy way - at late 20s, stuff I should have learnt as a youth haha.

I'm just sad no one tried to explain any of this to me and that girls kinda cannot put into words what they feel 😕

I think so women may read this and think why are we so obsessed with sex - I really don't know, it's been this way since as far as we could remember for us men.

I'm glad I'm kinda understanding the dynamics between men and women at least now though. ❤️