I'm so frustrated

I returned from a very difficult trip where I had lost my second mom, and we had to pack up her apartment and load up a bunch of things we inherited from her.

During the loading and packing, I threw out my back. I rested it and we flew back and it wasn't that bad until I got home and cleaned my house and moved things around.

A couple of days later, I noticed some tingling on my left side so I went to urgent care where my BP was 140/100. This immediately threw me into a panic mode ... the fact that I have suffered from panic disorder, which has been controlled with BuSpar up until now, did not help.

It has basically now been three weeks of hell. Trying different medications and techniques and constantly monitoring my blood pressure, etc.. multiple doctor visits and even a trip recently to the ER because I was dizzy and disoriented. My heart rate was super high, but my BP was okay.

That ER trip was two days ago, and I was found to be severely dehydrated. Go figure, I was so busy focusing on taking all these darn medications and monitoring my symptoms that I forgot to really drink anything.

My doctor sent me to cardiologist, who I saw today. Last night I slept pretty well and was feeling OK when I went there in fact, probably the best that I have felt since this started.

My blood pressure was actually good at the doctor office. 113/80. But he said my heart rate was too high like 120 ...so he prescribed metoprolol.

I took the first pill tonight, and I am fucking losing my mind. I was told I might feel dizzy and tired, which would be great because then I'll be able to sleep but no instead I'm freaking anxious and tripping out and can't relax worth a damn ... i've already had enough nights like this.

Just checked my BP and heart rate. BP is 157/80 and heart rate only 82. So now I'm having the opposite effect. But the worst part is the fricking anxiety. I took half a Lorazepam which I was prescribed to take "as needed" and an hour later I'm still in the same boat

I am really tired of this situation and I guess I just need some positive thoughts right now.