Nparent failing health

This is just a late night ramble, but to keep it short, my mother was the heart of the family and kept me, my sibling, and nfather together. After cancer took her, we fell apart. My nfather moved us out and a girlfriend and new family in. He repeatedly told us we were awful because we didn't approve of the new relationship he began not even a month after our mother passed. Besides that, if we expressed grief he would always "one up" us by saying we may have lost a mom, but he lost a wife he knew longer. Both of us have been low contact since.

It has been several years and now he reached out with a health scare. We don't know the severity of it, many appointments ahead, but I do not feel optimistic.

I have so much bottled up resentment towards him, but at the end of the day, I'm not a narcissist and don't want him to die. I feel extremely conflicted and really just want someone to talk to about it that can relate because I don't know how to even approach this.