Wife of 8 years asked for a break to decide if she still wants this

Not sure how to approach this I (27m) have been with my wife (27f) for 12 years. We live with her mother and grandmother to help them with health issues. I felt like some distance was growing and when we talked it ended at my own insecurities and issues are creating issues that don’t exist and I need therapy to which I was open to. The very next day she texts me a work saying that she feels we both want 2 different things out of life and a marriage and due to the fact that we got together so young she never got the chance to find out who she is and is considering separation. I was completely blind sided. For years sex is maybe a couple times a year which make me feel like she’s not attracted to me to which she says due to hormone issues her sex drive is super low. I’ve been to the appts and it is true so I don’t fault her for that and accepted that if that’s how life will continue I’m fine with that. She says for years I don’t tell her she’s beautiful enough or ask her how she’s feeling physically and mentally . I don’t agree since every morning I say how are you? How are you feeling? Whether it be texting or in person I do call her beautiful and tell her I love her more times than I can count a day. She basically says she acknowledges my “love language” being physical touch and acts of service but can’t provide that so I just have to deal with it. Which I did and accepted it. Then continues to say that her “love language” is emotion and communication and if I can’t deliver she’s not going to be happy. The separation talk completely blindsided me. At this point, I’m expected to patiently wait with no timeline for her to decide whether she wants a break. As far as we’ve discussed sounds like the break is a play by ear situation with no deadline. I personally don’t believe in breaks in marriages. I think they’re an excuse so the initiating party can either cheat guilty free or end a long term relationship and not feel as guilty. I’m having a tough time staying calm considering since the beginning of these conversations she’s been going to her female friends house early in the morning and coming home after midnight. She’s not much of a party person or late night person but in the past the few times she would go out early with friends and come back after midnight. I told her I didn’t appreciate that and would like for her to be home before or around midnight if possible. Apparently this is a problem and an unfair request.

I guess my question is what am I supposed to do?

I feel betrayed and stabbed in the back and according to her I’m supposed to just let her take as long as she needs to decide whether she needs a break to figure out whether she even wants me in her life.

TL:DR wife of 8 years together for 12 wants a break and I’m not sure how to handle it. She says it’s because we got together young and she didn’t get to find out who she is and later says it’s because she thinks we’re both looking for 2 different things out of this marriage to which I still can’t get an explanation as to what those things are.