This is a rant about my sister in law because I need people to know.

My brother got married in 2021. 1 month later my father and nani passed away. It was an arranged marriage and we knew of the family for about 3 months everything happened so fast. My mother lost 2 of her strongest support systems. My brother had to learn to be the man of the house but we managed. Its been 5 years, they have a child now who is 3 and honestly light of my life. But here is where things get worse. My sister in law since the past 3 years has completely flipped over like the person she showed herself to be was a scam.

I had already sensed something was off about her a few months in of her living with us. Not only did she have no sense of respect (saying things like kon kab mar jae pata nahi lagta about my dad) to expecting a honeymoon and shopping trips when I brother was really have a bad mental breakdown down. He never told her no but can you imagine one month in no father will you go on a honeymoon.

After the birth of their son, it is my mother who left her well paying job to taker care of him. She hasn't had one nights rest in 5 years and ive been by her side all this time. My sil would eat her sons food from the plate and this 1 year old child would be hungry even after.(there are signs in a kid) later her anger issues have just increased.

Every diwali, new year, navrate she just fights or creates the idea that we are against her when we gave her new phone and giver her money as and when she asks. We never took dowry either. One kanjak she faught when there were little kids over for Pooja. God, she cannot even treat service people like vendors or showroom staff nicely and it really messes me up. I just stopped going out with her.

Last year we did my nephew's mundan ceremony and booked a tent and all the fanfare. The next day she flipped over because my mother joked about a suit bhabhi's mother gave. She closed herself in the washroom threw her jewelery and what not. According to her "ye lof pese udate hai" (about a ceremony where you celebrate your child) I recorded every thing since then the whole year she just fought and fought. She told me its my fault her marriage is over. And yesterday my she hackled my mother saying that she will do what she wants and not what my mother asks. My mother asked her for literally nothing she had transferred money to bhabhi the day before for her expenses.

In the 5 years ive come to realize this lady suffers from some deep inferiority complexes (her weight really yo yos and I believe somewhere in her childhood she was really bullied for it) she has some psychological disorder i think because this type of tripping is not normal. I guess her family has not been honest in this regard.

My mother presently is taking care of my nanu who has been unwell for sometime. She is also taking care of her grandson who doesnt even go to his mother anymore. She doesnt feed him nor bathe him cannot get him to brush his teeth. I refrained from working so that I could support my mother but I need to start earning too.

This situation just really got me thinking of the way people portray mother in law's in Indian society as some really evil villian. But we forget that not everyone is like that. Why does my family have to grow through this. A lot of indian families look at separation as something wrong and shameful. But men also suffer. My brother's stressed from work, and the woman who promised to take care of him is bringing him down even more. He also wants to go out but he cannot even take her in his friend circle. Literally everyone who meets her just kinda of knows something is off. We offered her for sometime to go back to her family since our house is under renovation but now she refuses to leave. She said she wont go. This is the woman said we dont let her see her parents. One call her father said "mein dekhta hu kese tereko kuch bolte hai". I just see my the 2 people who are the only family I have just breakdown today.

This has been a very long post. But men also suffer and I think if you are not prepared for married life even at 28. Dont marry just because you are being pressured of you want to wear a lehnga. Save yourself for a person you know for at least a year and know how they treat their family as well.

This was rant. But if you learn something thats also good.