Do you still have my heart

I gave it to you? Did you keep it or get rid of it after we stopped talking?

It seems we are still tied together. I waited wanting you to contact me but knowing you wouldnt I hoped for some sort of understanding. Lost in space of hope. As it slowly faded I grew to see I was delusional I’m believing you actually love me that you saw me for me! The things would actually work out get better that I wouldn’t have to be the only one fighting for us, but it’s OK. I know I loved you with everything that I was and I gave you something. I cannot take back and I cannot move on without it maybe Sunday somebody will come along and have a heart soo big that they will be able l to share theirs with me. And I’ll be able to love again. I am doing good. We are doing well. We have our opposite downs. I hate the fact that my strength is my resilience. I fucking hate that I’m constantly having to rely solely on myself. Every day I get up and I give every day my best and sometimes my best is 5% and sometimes my Best is 105%. There’s so many things about our life. I miss our friendship the things that we used to do together our relationship so I just relish in the memories that we had it seems like there’s something going on lately though because up till this last week, I was really good. Something has been talking on my heart and my soul. Something has been looking and searching for you. I can feel it in every fiber of my being but it’s it’s like somethings calling me. It’s like this constant calling like this, but I don’t know why because it’s you that doesn’t wanna talk to me. It was you that didn’t want me it was you that didn’t want us around it was you that stop talking I literally have to myself absolutely mad the last three days not sleeping not eating looking for some ridiculous sort of sign on this website thinking maybe just maybe there’s something here reading hundreds of these notes thank you. There’s some sort of hope. Just maybe he still cares about you that it will be clear as day but it’s all bullshit cause he knows what he needs to do i’ve always been very explicitly clear but what I wanted and how to do it so that’s why answer is for me right in this letter. Well, I’m sure it falls on deaf ears, blind eyes, broken hearts, and shattered souls.

You still have my heart,

forever and always

Your, S