MAXWELL"S SILVER HAMMER IS ABOUT SEX.

See, "Made sure that she/he was dead" actually refers to orgasm, also known as the "little death."

Also, Paul McCartney definitely said this IRL and not in one of my fanfic:

"It’s about sex. The hammer is his penis ... He didn’t literally kill them. He made them climax."

That's why the three verses feature figures commonly starring in sexual fantasies: Teachers, college co-eds, and judges.

And that's why Paul's voice sounds so sexy on Abbey Road.

The end.