My (30 F) bf who is 33 M never has time for me. Is he kinda toxic?

I am dating someone who is in long distance. But he hardly ever has time. I know he is busy, but getting him to talk feels like a challenge always. And when I say I need his time, he says that I make him feel inadequate and he needs a break. Also, he keeps cracking fat jokes on me, despite knowing that I have an ED. And he says I have to maintain my weight if we have to be together. He has also asked me to fix my smile and get surgery for my specs. I feel I shouldn’t put so much effort for someone who doesn’t even have time to say goodnight