I(23f) am in a complicated situation with 23m

¡(23f) was dating this guy (23m) for 4 months. i broke up with him in december but it's only on paper. i faced a lot of problems in the relationship. he said that he'll do everything but he'll never be able to love me. i always felt he was never over his ex(had her wallpaper even after i confronted him about it). he said he's given up on marriage and such things. apart from that he used to be short tempered and get pissed at me for the smallest reasons. he used to disrespect me, sometimes in front of others. i tried breaking up with him four times in four months. he used to contradict his past statements everytime i tried ending it, dismissing them by saying he just said it in the heat of the moment and saying it doesn't mean anything

however, now he feels completely different. he's trying to get me back and it's not the same guy i remember dating four months at all. he says a lot of heavy things about what he feels for me. suddenly he's open to marriage. he says he feels alive with me and would do anything to have me back. he's said that i'm his favourite person and if i come back he'll make sure to never let me go again. i have said hurtful things after the breakup but he just accepts it by saying that he was wrong. he's completely changed and it's hard for me to believe. i often wonder if he's just manipulating me. but then i've seen him tear up few times when i say something rude and seeing his hurt makes me feel guilty.

in just a span of two months i've gone from accusing him to the one feeling guilty and wrong. he used to blame me earlier but now he feels like the victim, the blame indirectly falling on me again. he's done everything short of skywriting my name in these last two months

sometimes i'm on the verge of giving in but then i remember everything he's said and it makes me sick. i feel like even though he calls me 'mine', i'll never be able to see him as mine. i enjoy the time and attention and care that he's showing now and i reciprocate sometimes, but not without feeling a disconnect. i still like him a little but i'm afraid to like him, to let my guard down, to trust him. i just can't see him as mine truly and when i tell him this he just says it takes time, let's just stay how we are and things will get better. he even went on to say he can write and give that i won't be able to find a better guy than him, someone who would put in as much efforts as he is rn. what's crazy is that even after all this, he's never said he loves me. only that he likes me a lottt. what am i supposed to do?