My partner is struggling mentally and I feel like his emotional container

My partner (M30) and I (F29) have been together for about a year and three months. I know that might not sound like a very long relationship, but we’ve been through a lot together in that time and the bond feels very deep.

About a year ago he had a craniotomy to remove a brain cyst, and he also had back surgery. It was a very intense time for him, and I was by his side through all of it. I genuinely wanted to support him and felt happy being there for him during those moments.

Recently things have started to feel much heavier for me emotionally.

He has been taking Concerta for about 4–5 years and recently started tapering off (with medical supervision). Over the last week he told me he has been feeling very low and sometimes questioning whether life has meaning. He hasn’t said he wants to harm himself, but hearing the person you love question the value of life is very painful and scary.

Most of the time he functions normally, but when he has bad days they can become very intense very quickly.

What has been difficult for me is that sometimes he shares these very heavy thoughts with me and then continues with his plans or goes out with friends, while I’m left feeling anxious and emotionally shaken after hearing them.

I’ve started to feel like I’ve become his emotional container. When he’s struggling, he unloads these thoughts on me, and afterwards I’m the one who stays with the fear and anxiety.

I care deeply about him and want to support him, but lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. I’ve even noticed that sometimes I focus so much on whether he is okay that I forget about my own needs, which has started to create a lot of internal pain and exhaustion for me.

He has a psychiatrist but he’s not currently in therapy, and part of me feels like he might need more support than just me.

How do I support my partner without losing myself emotionally?

How do I set healthy boundaries when someone I love is struggling like this?

Has anyone experienced something similar, either as the partner or the person going through the dark periods?

Any advice or perspective would really help.

**TL;DR;** : This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?