The feeling of an unknown tmo

Ive been out for about 2 years to close family & about 1 year socially, Things aren't bad but they are very foggy.

I dress as myself daily & refuse to do otherwise even with the anxiety of being different & having people stare now & then.

Ive had some nice complements & nothing negative yet to my face, However the few things "friends" said have stuck.

Now heres where a lot of my current problems are stemming from....

Finding my place in the world now just feels so impossible. The idea of going to a job interview kills me... it's like facing one of the strangers at the store & selling the idea of myself to them? I dunno if thats a great example but I hope you get it?

This feeling has had me living off ontario works for the past 2 years with my rents (I'm 31 this year) & the feeling of reliance is killing me as what happens once they are gone?

Im looking at the better jobs program & for the first time in my life I want to have a future & be the happy version of myself but I cant help this feeling of feeling like no mater what I do I'm going to be othered & thrown aside for who I am?

Maybe its because I have no people like myself to look at in potential job fields around me to give myself a sense of future? I dunno, but its starting to relle weigh hard on me.

If anyone here has anything positive they can share, what they do for work, how they like it & get treated & maybe some things to avoid I would be so ever greatfull...

Nothing sucks more than finally wanting to live & be happy but feeling like you cant 💔

Thanks for reading 🫂