Wellness contract for BP2 spouse?

Hi all,

Gonna give some context first so skip to the last paragraph if you want straight to the point. Wife of a BP2 husband here, been married 11yrs, together for 14. He was diagnosed 3yrs ago. For the most part he/we are doing well. He is on meds which he takes routinely, he sees a therapist monthly, and has regular check-ins with a psychiatrist as part of his HC team. He is also working out daily, usually sleeps 9-10hrs, and eats well.

However, I believe he has been in a depressive episode since late January. Every January we host a big event at our house, something he plans and looks forward to. Last year after the event he ended up in emerg having a panic attack; a culmination of event anticipation and stressing over bad weather (There was a significant snowstorm and he was very stressed about everyone arriving safely).

This year, we had that same event late January, it was a success, void of any panic attacks. But now he's come down off that high and has been very low, apathetic, and VERY irritable. He rarely initiates conversation or affection with me, he will nitpick fights with our 8yr old and me about little things around the house. I am having to regularly explain to our kid "This is just how Dad shows his stress, he's not angry at you, just keep your distance for now".

His work is not fulfilling this time of year, it's quite routine and he's very bored. He's also become fixated on the snow forecast. If it's calling for snow, his anger is triggered and that comes out on myself or our kid. Last night we had a huge fight because I brought home an injured bird I found on the side of the road. His response was he wants "nothing to do with" my animals anymore. We also own a holiday home that needs renovating, so the conversation snowballed into him saying he wants out of that responsibility and I'm on my own for maintenance and renovations. He then yelled at me about all the things I do around the house that bother him (Some examples are not doing dishes immediately, leaving boots in front of the door and not on the door mat). He can think of many examples, and feels each time I do that I am communicating that I don't love him. The narrative in his head of me is not very positive right now. To add: By no means is our house messy. We both work to keep things organised daily. If you walked into our house you'd say it was clean.

So to the question. I have heard of partners creating a 'Wellness contract' when your BPSO is in a healthier place to discuss what happens when in a depression or mania, and create a plan to address their behaviours or amp up treatment. Has anyone had any success with this? For those that have BP do you have one? Did you take it seriously or think it was useless? Are there any resources you'd recommend for making one? Or have any other suggestions on how to support? I give space and do what I can around the house but I can't always anticipate his needs if he's not communicating. But we're at the point where we need something in place, especially as our kid gets older and notices more. I have no idea how I will even approach this to him in the future, but I can't think of anything else to do. It's not my job to manage him but I care deeply for him and feel I need to do something.