Medical school makes me feel deeply isolated and I am breaking into pieces.

I want to apologise for my rant. I feel maybe I am just trying to find someone to vent to as I feel like I am breaking apart.

Started my clinical years and it feels deeply lonely. Constantly rotating, constantly having new placements and having to adapt. Everyone too busy to make friends you say let's meet for a coffee and yet it never happens and if it does it almost always end there. I crave deep talks and I feel like suffocating.

I live alone, my partner is not in this country and is hard for us to meet. I realised that two of whom I am friend with but on different rotations have them to talk, to have dinner to go out because of the consistency. I unfortunately cannot do that as they are miles away.

Today, it was a nice weather and went outside and started crying because I felt lonely. I looked at people playing ball, talking, laughing and realised I have nobody. Nonetheless, I do not even have my family close to me as we are on bad terms and that also breaks me into pieces.

I thought of joining societies but I feel is too late now as it is almost the end of the second semester and people already know each other. Friendships takes time to build, to nurture and because of the studying and trying not to fall behind I am not the best at.

I do not know what to do, I am tired of feeling this lonely. I am sorry if all of the above might have sounded like a major excuse but I feel loneliness as a medical student is not touched a lot upon and if there are people out here feeling the same I can assure you that you are not alone.