I’ve started writing things down after conversations with my partner because I feel like I can’t trust my own memory anymore. Is that "normal"?

TL:DR Conversation patterns with my partner are confusing me. 10+ year relationship

I’m not totally sure how to explain this without it sounding vague or dumb, but it’s been bothering me enough that I figured I’d ask. I’ve been leaving conversations with my partner feeling really...off. Not like we had a huge fight or anything. It’s more like I’ll try to talk about something, and by the end of it I’m confused about how it even turned into what it turned into. Like I’ll go in trying to talk about one thing, and somehow I walk away feeling like I did something wrong just by bringing it up.

Here's an example:

I sent him a message one day during work, asking if we could talk about something that had been bothering me. I had already rewritten it a couple times before sending because I didn’t want it to come across as finger-pointing. I was trying to be really careful with how I said it.

That night, I asked him if he had seen my message (I knew he had - thanks read receipt).

He said “what message?”

I told him, vaguely, like remember...I sent you an important message earlier.

He said he has no idea what I'm talking about.

So I asked him to just read it again (please), and he got annoyed that I was “making him read it.”

I remember just sitting there like… wait. What? Not even because he didn’t want to talk, but because somehow it turned into me being the issue for asking him to look at something I had already sent.

That’s kind of when I started randomly writing things down. Not in a weird “building a court case” way, just…I felt like I needed to keep track of what was actually happening because I kept second-guessing myself afterward. I’d replay conversations and think, “did that really go how I think it did?”

The more I started paying attention, the more I noticed it wasn’t just a one-off thing. It’s been a pattern of conversations not really getting finished, questions not getting answered, things kind of turning back onto me, or just… dropping topics entirely. I can now look back and see that I have over 5 years of "notes" trying to validate my reality.

The hard part is none of this sounds that bad when I try to explain a single example. He's such a "nice guy" out in the wild. But when it keeps happening, it starts to feel like I can’t trust my own read on things anymore.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this? Is it normal to feel like you need to keep track of conversations just to make sense of them later? Or is this a sign that something’s actually off here?