are we too harsh to ourselves when it comes to speaking fluently?

Have you ever stumbled over your tongue, could not find a word or lost your train of thoughts? I bet you have, and I'm not talking about English but about your native language, whatever that might be.

This happens all the time in conversation. More often to some people than others of course. Being eloquent or not obviously is a thing, but it still usually happens to everyone. But you don't really get nervous because of it. You know it's normal.

But if it happens in english, or any other second language, you usually think "Damn they must think I'm stupid and can't speak English" which makes you even more uneasy.

While a want of proficiency obviously is still a thing and might be a reason why you are not eloquent, in a normal conversation you still need to give yourself some time to think and find the right words "on the move" so to speak.

I mean just watch some interviews. It's not the same thing as listening to an on a stage giving a prepared speech.

This just popped up in my mind a while ago, and I wanted to share it. What do you think? Do you get nervous too quick if you can't find a proper word or a proper way to formulate something?