Adult daughter won’t grow up

I’m a 30yr old (F) and my husband is 46(M). We’ve been married 1 year and a half and been together for 2 and a half years. We have one son together and I have a son from my previous marriage. He has a 25yo daughter who lives with us. She’s had a bad attitude since I’ve first met her. My husband says she’s always been like this since a teenager, even with his exes. He says he’s tried therapy with her, but she didn’t like it. He says she’s entitled and spoiled and that’s very clear but I also think she has terrible social skills and practically no life skills. Examples of her behavior: she will walk past you sometimes if you say good morning to her or hi. Doesn’t really say thank you or please or use any kind of polite manners. She is snippy in her replies to questions. She gets frustrated easily. She sometimes try to talk back to her dad when he’s trying to explain discipline to her. She’s very blunt and pessimistic. She’s just overall negative energy. On top of this she keeps getting fired from her jobs. She’s currently not working. Hasn’t been for almost a year now, partly due to us having to move and mostly because she is lazy and unorganized and unproductive. It feels as if she wants her dad to take care of her forever. She is always in her room playing games and only comes out to eat. She doesn’t cook real food, only Ramen noodles and pancakes. My husband says if she was a boy, he would have been more hard on her. When she graduated high school he advised her to go to the Air Force which she did, but then she decided to lie about her mental health so that she can get out. And since then she’s just been getting fired from job after job. Bullcrap jobs at that. He recently came up with a plan to stop babying her by making her do certain chores around the house and he’s not paying her phone bill. Which I think is counterproductive to her getting a job because you need a phone for a job, but he’s just really fed up with her .Honestly whenever she’s around I kinda feel on edge because her moods are so inconsistent and I hate confrontation but I’ve decided recently to stop being so nice and passive with her. I am now more assertive and direct with her. But it’s not a super comfortable place for me to be because I like to be soft and nice but she takes advantage I’ve learned. I like whenever everybody gets along and positive energy (Libra :)…but anyways I just really need advice on how I can get her to get more motivated and be more productive to getting and keeping a job and moving out eventually because I honestly just want her to grow up and move on.