Idk if she meant it, but ee ooha edo bagundi.

I had a small but genuinely meaningful realization today, and I don’t think I would’ve noticed it if I hadn’t been asked to.

I’ve recently started peer counselling with a senior from college, and one of the tasks she gave me was to write down my accomplishments from the week. It sounded simple, almost unnecessary at first. But when I actually sat down to do it, I realized I had been doing a lot more than I give myself credit for.

Not big, dramatic achievements, just small, personal things. Going out alone. Buying something for myself. Feeling a little more comfortable in my own company. Letting myself cry and express emotions instead of suppressing them. Trying to look at situations from different perspectives instead of immediately labeling them, which is something I’ve struggled with for a long time, especially when it comes to myself.

Cheppalante, f.or a long time, I’ve had this underlying belief that I’m not “good enough” academically. Ever since I left school, being around people who are more outspoken in debates and discussions made me feel like I didn’t belong in that space. I internalized that as “I’m dumb” without really questioning it.

But today, during our session, she told me something I didn’t expect at all, that I sound like a writer when I speak, that she likes the way I articulate my thoughts and describe things. (Ame nak butter cheyadaniki ala sweet ga cheppindho telidhu)

Inka i used to do content writing a few years ago, but I never really carried that identity forward. Somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing myself as expressive or capable. So hearing that, especially in an academic setting where I usually feel out of place, meant a lot more than I thought it would.

And it made me realize something else too, compliments about how you think, how you express yourself, or how you handle things tend to stay with you much longer than surface-level ones or compliments that have smth to do w your appearance. They feel grounding tbh

I’m still working on not labeling everything so quickly, especially myself. But for once, I feel this sense of satisfaction at the end of the day.

Nothing extraordinary happened. Bye 🥀