I was with an abusive woman at 18 years old, who was 42 at the time. She pressured me into having sex countless times, over the course of 1 year. But I never fought back properly; AITAH?

Title.

I was in a relationship with a 42 year old woman when I was 18. I feel bad for entering the relationship to begin with, and I don't get why I did it; I felt like I didn't have a choice(she manipulated me with shit, and even gave me an ultimatum if I didn't enter a relationship with her).

I felt the same when it came to have sex with her; I just had to because she pressured me, and would even use my heroin addiction against me(she'd give me money if I had sex with her, which I accepted only because heroin withdrawal is the worst; makes all my trauma come out), when I got addicted to that(4-5 months into the relationship).

So AITAH for not "fighting like a man" and doing something about it; instead being an anxious piece of shit and let her do whatever she wants to me instead? She made me feel like I was the villain regarding it all. So I dunno. AITAH?