Ok, so you're a monstera parent and everyone's telling you to "Just pole it, bruh." But you don't know how to accomplish that without KO'ing the plant your aunt spent 10 seconds picking out at home depot 3 years ago for your birthday even though you couldn't spell Deliciosa at the time.

Well, let me fix that for you:

* **Materials:**
   * An appropriate pot
   * High quality moss pole (NO CHOIR POLES, EVER)
   * Orchid bark
   * Sphagnum moss



* **Process (Step number = ref image #)**
   1. I recommend repotting when you go about this process. You'll want a pot large enough for the plant and deep enough to support your pole
   2. See this pole? This is what you want. Get your choir poles, break them in half, and throw them away. Also, don't use amazon for these because amazon is the devil. Etsy is a great place to get kits or prefabs. The plastic backing provides water retention and the large mesh front allows for healthy, fat roots to form. 
   3. Nest that pole deep if you don't want your plant to fall over when she get BIG. A bit of wire will also help to keep that thing where you want it, but isn't always needed. 
   4. See those bunched up roots? Loosen those up. Use a root rake or chopsticks if you need to. 
   5. That's better, time for new soil. 
   6. Put a bit in the bottom first, so she can put new roots down. 
   7. Make sure to level your plant with the bottom of the soil. Keep the BACK of the plant against the pole. You'll know the back because that's where the majority of the roots are coming from and the petioles with face towards the "front" of the plant. DON'T BURY YOUR PETIOLES! 
   8. Should look like this when you are done. You can also tie the plant to the pole at this point (I've done that here). Make sure you are using either a large gage wire or rubberized gear ties so you don't cut your baby by accident. 
   9. Time to make our pole substrate! Use high quality orchid bark and sphagnum moss (orchid sphagnum also works fine, that's what I have here). 
   10. Mix that business nice and good. 
   11. Stuff that pole! You may need to harm a local tree for a poker, like I did. But it's for the cause, so it's ok. You don't need to pack it in like a sausage, but do make sure there are no big gaps. 
   12. If it looks like this, you are pretty much done! Just a few notes, left! 
   13. Leave some space at the top so you can pop an old soda bottle i nthere for easy moss-pole watering. Trust me, it's this or hose it down every few days and one is easier than the other. 
   14. Give your baby a good watering and there you have it! Now go to your local plant shop and get to work, nerds! 
   15. Bonus, I ignored my fuzzy child to make this post. You're welcome. 

Poling, Spring Is Here, It Is Time