r/atheism•
SingleAd6898

Relationship advice with my christian girlfriend

Hello everyone; i do not know if this is the right sub reddit to ask this as i consider myself agnostic but i shall do it here. (sorry for the long post)

i have been with the most amazing girlfriend for 2 years now;

we are very similar on some things but very different when it comes to religion.

i consider myself agnostic; i think it is very unlikely for a superior entity to exist, and/or to have created the universe, and if it does, it is clearly not one present in today's religions, but i do not entirely refuse the idea of it potentially exisiting albeit unlikely.

my girlfriend however has been raised by a really christian orthodox family.

she doesn't know much about religion except what she has been taught by her family and she has many doubts but still decides to believe in it (which i respect even if i disagree)

I personally love arguing/debating about everything, and religion is one of the subjects that interests me the most.

it is very complex and many people have different views on it which makes it fascinating.

which is why i often try to debate with her about our different beliefs etc (even if she's not the debating type and often gets upset and tries to stop the conversation to cool her head; so i try not to do that often but sometimes i can't help it :>)

A recent debate we've had was about raising children. i know, very controversial subject especially with inter-religious couples.

her take on it is that she wishes to teach our kids about christianism, the different legends, stories, god, praying, all of the classic things, basically teach them that christianism exists and god is always there with you to help you.

now my take might be controversial, but i personally come from a christian family. i celebrate christmas every year (but i do it as a way to reunite with my family and share a moment together, as for her she does it to celebrate jesus etc, even though i also put a small jesus figurine and decorations etc..)

i also celebrate easter and most of the other celebrations except the fast.

i do it more traditionally and less religiously, because i like these customs.

i also sometimes go to church; i find these places beautiful and love having a small moment there. but i don't go there to pray, even though i sometimes try just in case it works ^^

the big issue for me is; a child easily gets indoctrinated; just like how most christians were born in a christian household, most muslims in a muslims household etc etc..

if you teach a child throughout his childhood about these things, he will take it as it being the truth and thus end up believing albeit against his will.

some can debate these same children will then grow up and decide if they want to keep that very same religion; but i think it is easier said than done, as the impact of indoctrination is easily proved.

And especially religion; which is something that sometimes defines someone as a person; that makes them live a certain way; do certain things; think in a certain way.. etc; it has a HUGE impact and thus "forcing" a child into that when they're in their most innocent state sounds wrong to me.

now personally; i will still teach my kids about religion if they ask about it; i love studying and learning about all kinds of religions and find it amazing to learn about people's beliefs; so i will of course not prevent them from chosing their way if they wish for it at a latter age.

i will also take them to church if i go, celebrate christmas with them easter etc; but i am very conflicted about how to preserve their innocence.

i am of course open to criticism; i am asking for advice if someone has had a similar situation; or has any advice on this..

i might of course be in the wrong and if so i will try my best to change my ways; even if changing your beliefs isn't as easy as it sounds.

sorry for the really long post and thank you if you reached to this part !

Posted Mar 27, 2026, 8:04 PM UTC

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