r/Advice•
BonnieWonnieZ

How can I (finnish) help my boyfriend (french) during his transfer year and with out language barrier?

Hello everyone!

I (Finnish) recently started dating an exchange student (french), whom I love dearly. We have started taking our relationship more seriously, but a reoccuring problem has presented itself in the relationship.

He doesn't speak english especially well. It's coherent and understandable, but I often have to remind him of words and I can tell it is extremely exhausting for him to speak english, let alone write and text in it. Sometimes after we are together for a few days, he finds it very important that he gets to see his french friends and talk with them in french, to kind of "reset" his brain. English isn't my native language either, but I speak it at a much higher level than him.

He has talked about me learning french, but I am a bit hesitant, as the language doesn't really interest me and I am already learning multiple other languages. I would most likely have great difficulty finding motivation to study. I am, however, planning to learn at least the basics, since I might visit his family at some point (who don't speak english at all). I don't expect him to learn finnish at all even though a portion of my family doesn't speak english, since it is a notoriously difficult language and it would take extremely long for him to learn it, even at a basic conversational level.

Is there any way I can support him while he is learning english? Or perhaps another way I can help him? If I would like to learn some french for him, what should I start with? The basics, or do I go into more abstract things like emotions, so he can commumicate his feelings better in his native language? Is the "solution" just to wait for him to learn more english during his transfer year here in my country until eventually we can communicate better?

Thank you for reading. My apologies, incase my questions are a little silly. This is quite a new situation for me.

I also hope this is the correct channel for posts like this. I rarely use this app haha.

Posted Mar 27, 2026, 8:08 PM UTC

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