Venting

i read so many posts here about people feeling like they can’t cancel clients when: they’re sick, they have a personal emergency, when they have a family emergency, on and on.

it’s so hard to cancel for me. like, hard. every time. yet…

when i read these other posts from an ‘outside perspective’, i feel sick inside. judgemental. sometimes even a little grossed out.

my inner thoughts go like this:

“what is wrong with us? what is wrong with the people in our field? what kind of hypocrites are turning up here that tell clients to care for themselves. yet when it comes time to protect ourselves. we feel ‘bad’ we feel ‘guilt.’ it just seems kind of pathetic.

i’m not talking about needing the money. I’m talking about the guilt.

it’s like seeing something about myself in full relief. and it is not pretty at all. the conflict from the outside almost looks like a Mental illness.

sorry, just needed to get that out of my system. maybe someone else relates.…

not just spitting venom here. i’ve got a little space around my reaction.