Do you ever feel like the universe is playing tricks on you?

I’ll try and make this short but I’ve never discussed this with anyone so might start rambling.

I’ve experienced limerence many times through life and I hate how much it consumes your thoughts and life in general, however I kind of feel like I’m used to it at this point.

I’m in a long term relationship and so is my LO, I’m beyond aware that realistically nothing would ever happen, but it still doesn’t stop the day dreaming of what “could” happen, and I know I can’t help experiencing limerence, it’s just how I am.

My LO isn’t someone who is in my day to day life, without being specific I know them through being a customer of their business. We follow each other on Instagram but in terms of interactions outside of their work that’s as far as it goes.

Whenever he liked something I had posted I felt a hit of dopamine that became addictive and I found myself posting things that I felt like he would react to for that reason.

It fueled my delusional thoughts of “what if he thinks about me?” because in those moments it felt like he did.

I recently saw him for work related reasons and afterwards I realised I need to stop these thoughts because it’s taking over my brain and it’s tiring and pointless.

I decided to stop posting things on Instagram and not like or respond to things he posts for my own sake.

So today, he’s posted a photo that undoubtedly feels like it’s to gain a response from me. I don’t even feel like I’m being delusional in saying this, but it’s a photo featuring some things I gave him as a thank you gift alongside a thank you card which the envelope for was in the photo (I feel like generally people would’ve atleast thrown the envelope away?)

He hadn’t tagged me in the post or anything I just couldn’t help but feel it was for me to respond to.

Which leads me to my question in the title, does anyone else just feel like it’s the universe having fun with them? Why the day after I decide not to interact with them anymore do they do this?

For my own sake I don’t want to respond but then I also worry about them perceiving me as a bad person if I don’t.

I hate limerence so much!