Is she clueless or just a bad friend?

Little bit of context/info. I have autism and pretty horrible rejection sensitivity (I feel stupid for even saying that) and AAS. With that please let me know if I’m being insecure, if I’M the bad friend here, or if I should bring it up to her. This girl was also the same one who called us best friends before I thought of it because I’m not used to people.

So, recently (like last week of February), my best friend started sleeping with a guy. She told me he and she would be just casual. Cool great. But since the day they started having sex, they’ve been together (stayed the night or her to his place or even just hanging out) about 90% of the time. Which is what is leading to this vent. I’m hurt, yes, but not for why you think. No it’s not jealousy either. I’m not interested in anyone nor him.

It’s the double standards she has of me. When her and I hang out, she texts him NON-STOP. It gets really annoying, especially if she’s driving or there’s more friends present or we’re trying to do something that involves having our immediate attention (we hung out with two other mutual friends as a decompress day and she texted him the whole fucking time).

The other standard however, is that when she’s physically with him, her phone basically does not exist to her. If I text her and they’re hanging out (not counting the time they’re sleeping, or she’s you know, having sex) she does not reply to me. It’s like WTF. You can’t stay off your phone long enough to drive 5 miles down the road, or reply to him but GOD forbid you actually reply to someone YOU called your best friend.

Mind you this is the same boy who was meant to be a fuck buddy only. Someone SHE set that boundary with at the beginning. He’s definitely falling for her and I AM happy she’s found an romantic interest again after her last boyfriend and how shitty it ended, but she has adamantly told me multiple times she didn’t want a relationship, yet every time I hear about him and her, it sounds more and more like a relationship and she comes to me and one other mutual friend (who’s older then the both of us) for advice then she doesn’t take it, or does something else entirely. He’s made her dinner twice now, asked her on several dates (she’s gone on two of them at least), he kisses her in public and like hugs her and what not, and again, for someone who claims they aren’t dating (her) it definitely feels like they are. She can say no, yet she doesn’t. I know she’s scared of a relationship but she’s basically acting like they’re in one.

I definitely feel like I put more effort into our friendship. I got her a really nice Christmas gift, something useful that I knew she wanted and she promised to make me a hand-beaded keychain for my keys. I even got her a beading mat to kinda prompt her into it. Still nothing. I’ve done a lot for her and she’s done a lot for me too but like emotionally? I feel so drained. I dread talking to her because I don’t wanna start to detach myself from her as she’s a wonderful person to hang out with. When she’s actually in the moment that is.

Just yesterday was the first time we hung out as long as we did and actually did something worth while since Christmas break. I don’t know what to do but I can’t keep crying myself to sleep at night knowing I’m probably self sabotaging…

TLDR: I’m upset with my best friend at how she treats me when we hang out she’s constantly texting her not-boyfriend, and when they hang out, her phone is basically non-existent to her…