First-time team lead, how much support should I expect from my manager?

My first role as a team lead (team of 6), and I’m trying to reflect on whether my expectations were reasonable or if this was just a mismatch in management style.

A recurring challenge was being accountable for team outcomes, but not always having the authority or support to act.

Some examples:

• I handled repeated performance issues with a team member (including multiple counselling sessions), but when I asked to escalate (e.g., warning note), I was told to hold off. Later, I was questioned on why the issue wasn’t resolved.
• Attendance issues came up where my manager observed the behavior but didn’t want to address it directly. I raised it and tried to manage it, but was still held accountable when it continued.
• In sensitive situations (e.g., a team member struggling some personal relationship issues and affected his wellbeing), I asked for support for check-ins, but my manager preferred not to be involved—while still expecting updates and outcomes.
• When I requested a transfer and needed a recommendation memo, my manager initially declined (said it wasn’t his responsibility), then later said he didn’t have time when I called him out for lying.

Overall, I often felt like I was expected to handle difficult situations independently, but without clear backing when escalation or authority was needed.
For those of you who’ve managed managers or been in similar roles:

• Is this a normal level of autonomy/support for a team lead? Should I have been more independent?
• Where’s the line between “owning your team” vs. needing your manager to step in?
• How would you handle a manager who avoids difficult conversations but still holds you accountable?

Would really appreciate different perspectives—trying to learn from this before my next role.