I lost my grandma to cancer why don’t i feel anything?

On monday this week I got news of my grandmothers passing. it wasn’t anything we weren’t expecting by now as she had been in the hospital for a few weeks leading up to it and in the end she opted to spend her last two days at home with her husband and other family around her.

I wasn’t there as she lives in another country and flights there are currently unavailable due to the war in the middle east so i won’t be able to attend her funeral and burial.

when i was told what happened I didn’t have an immediate reaction of sadness or shock or anything. it was closer to the feeling you get when you just had a small realisation of something in your head like where you left your keys or something. I didn’t cry or sulk and i haven’t grieved or anything.

my stepmom and my dad were both bawling and crying and they were hugging me and to be honest i was upset there and but it was mostly because i knew how much they were hurting

I knew her well and we spoke on the phone often. i loved her very much but i honestly have little to no emotion surrounding the topic. my family members and friends call me to console me and i pretend i am more hurt than i am but i just feel nothing.

i always thought i was narcissistic or have mild psychopathy or something and i don’t know if this proves it or something. i just feel like i should be sad and unhappy and grieving but im just not.

is there something wrong with me?