I am absolutely desperate for a haircut

I need a haircut right now like someone who’s desperate to go to piss.

For context, I live with my mum and my family is super strict with anything gendered, for example, boys can’t wear makeup at all or even act in a feminine manner. My cousin literally gets shouted at and even looked down upon just because he isn’t stereotypically masculine.

My point is that anyone who isn’t traditionally feminine or masculine is basically an outcaste.

Here’s where the issue comes, I am transgender and also pre T, despite being pre T, I look like a man. Like a full on dude. I am really desperate for a haircut because my long ass hair looks fucking ridiculous on me.

I hate it so much. Especially when I was younger, I was forced to straighten my hair, I still looked stupid because straight hair does not suit me at all.

My mum is really against this and I am terrified if she finds out that I am going to get my hair cut, she’ll get angry and start saying, “ YOURE NOT A BOY “ and so many other transphobic things.

I am not really looking for advice, I just want a place to vent. But if you want you can give advice.