I don’t feel like my self anymore.

For the past year or so, I feel like nothing makes me happy. My life is good, yet I feel like I can’t enjoy it. It’s like I always dreamed of coming to this place in my life, and now that I’m here, I feel overwhelmed and unable to enjoy it. I used to find happiness in simple things, like when spring comes or enjoying a walk in the park. But now it feels like everything is a burden. I can’t enjoy life, and I don’t know why.

I also get mood swings. Some days I wake up trying my hardest to stay positive and not let anything affect me, and other days I wake up hating the world around me. Today was one of the bad days. I woke up and felt like I didn’t want to get out of bed. I drove to work, and I had to park my car and walk for about 15 minutes through a park — a process that I usually enjoy very much — and I felt nothing. Not even a slight spark of joy.

I finished work, went to the gym, and came home feeling even worse. My husband asked me what was wrong, and I started crying and told him how I feel like I’m not myself anymore and how nothing brings me joy. His answer was: “If you get overwhelmed that easily, maybe we shouldn’t try for a baby because you probably wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

I didn’t even respond to him. I felt like I was talking to someone with their own agenda, not even hearing what I had to say. He then went on to tell me that if I’m not happy with my life and want to quit my job or get a divorce, then I should do it if that will make me happy, and that my mood swings affect him. We talked a bit more, and then he left to go out with his friends.

I don’t know what is going on. I feel like I’m in a fog, and nothing is really happening.

The only thing I know is that my husband is an asshole.