Seeking advice- miserable ICU new grad

Hey everyone,

I graduated last fall and immediately got a job in the ICU at a city hospital that hires new grads. I was familiar with the unit because I had my preceptorship there during school and thought it would be a good opportunity to work there to get experience for at least a year. I’ve been in orientation since November, however only been on the unit for two and a half months. I’m gonna be on my own in two weeks.

I do not feel prepared at all. I’m working nights and they are so short staffed. Everyone is tripled even when I’m with my preceptor and they were telling me I need to be able to handle three patients (I can barely handle two rn).

I am hoping to get some advice or any words or encouragement because right now I really hate my life. This job is making me miserable. I’ve spent the last few months taking shit from my preceptor and feel like shit after every shift.

My anxiety hasn’t been this bad in so long.

I hate this job but I need it at the same time.

How am I supposed to take on three ICU patients as a new grad?… I’m barely staying a float right now.

I have work tonight and I’m just trying not to cry thinking about what I might go into.