Realized I am into girls and I’m spiraling

I’ve known I liked girls my whole life pretty much but I’ve been in denial the entire time. I thought I was also into guys even though I did not feel any desire to be with one I had somehow convinced myself if the right man came along I’d want to be with him. I live in a Muslim country in a conservative family so being with a woman wasn’t an option that I ever considered so the only option in my mind was a guy. I was the type of person who used to say I would be fine spending the rest of my life alone if I did not meet the perfect man. Fast forward to now I have accepted that I am 100% into girls and waiting for the perfect man was my way of coping. Now that I’ve accepted it my mind has fully discarded the idea of ever being with a man, all I can think about now is how much I want to be with a woman, I have never felt this strong of an urge in my life but I just cannot stop thinking and wishing I find love with a woman. But it also feels like I’m doomed because in my country I cannot let a single soul know this about me, so I have no chance of finding someone. It feels so depressing 😭 it’s like the part of my brain I had kept bolted has been unlocked and I wish I could back and unrealise my feelings it’s causing me so much distress. I have no one to share this with and no one who would understand even if I were to share it with a friend.

Anyone went through the same thing? How do I deal with this!!!!