Does it ever get easier?

I'm 42, achieved nothing at school. Never listened, never did homework . Just wanted to play football, run and play championship manager. Fast forward to 41, and after much nudging from my wife I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADHD (subtype ADD). I was made redundant in 2018 from my job in the fitness industry. Loved it, but papered over a lot of cracks. Massively active and hyper fixated on the theory.

Went to uni part time and been cleaning and portering at a hospital. Every single assignment had an extension. But after 6 years of strife I got a 2:1 in philosophy & psychology.

I've had to re do my maths and English and have just been successful in getting onto an MSc in occupational therapy.

Thing is, im 42 now. Everything is and continues to be an internal war against myself. Taking and maintaining action so hard. By the time I have done my MSc I am 45. Feel I've missed the boat in life and now im trying to swim out to get on it . But im not a good swimmer and the boat doesn't even want me. I've just got an email about beginning titration, is it ADDEREL? Are the drugs going to help me focus a bit better. Plagued by poor impulsive decision making. Im a nervous wreck now and apprehensive about any decisions due to disastrous history of poor impulsive decisions.

Sick to death of myself and feel like a burden.