Can someone who is British look at this and please make sure that it sounds British enough?

((For a crossover challenge on Reddit. I ended up getting Jurassic Park 🦖 crossed with Harry Potter 🧙🏼‍♀️.

I'll admit I have not watched Harry Potter in probably about 12 years-ish?

But, like, I re-watched all the Harry Potter puppet pals before starting to write this so I feel like that's close enough???

Note two: coming back to add this after I'm done writing. this was originally supposed to be a crack fic but it got more serious than I expected. The premise is still kind of cracky and I'm sure they're not in character at all because again I haven't seen Harry Potter and like 10 years at least other than puppet pals so I'm revising the genra to crack treated seriously)

"Professor... are you sure that is wise?" Hermione asked, face frowning at the words professor McGonagall had spoken.

"It's headmistress now." She corrected sternly. "And wise or not this was one of Professor Dumbledore's final acts..I am not going to lessen his memory by not using the area he set up." She cleared her throat, speaking louder so all of the great hall could hear her. "This specific area in the woods was based on a muggle movie Professor Dumbledore saw and was so Bewitched with he thought that creating a reenactment in the forbidden Forest would help bridge the gap between our mother born students and magic-born students."

"But Pr-Headmistress. Did you watch the movie?" Hermione challenged. "Jurassic Park is not a movie about a fun adventure. If anything it is about why the hubris of humans will become it's undoing by the very thing-" she paused when the headmistress got up from her seat and began walking towards her.

"Miss. Granger. You are a wonderful student and the whole school can admit that." McGonigle spoke, taking Hermione's hands once close enough. "And I know know you went through incredible amount of stress the last school year but I need you to trust me. I am running this school."

"Yes ma'am." She mumbled, looking down.

"I know you have worries. All seven previous years have been very intense for you and your fellow witches and wizards." She was not angry, voice understanding but strong and authoritative. "But, I assure you I am putting safety measures in place to try to keep you and every over student here safe during your attempted do over of your seventh year. If you have concerns or worries speak to me privately and I will do my best to assuage them. Later. Not during opening ceremony."

"I understand Headmistress."

"Thank you.. Moving on... we will also be trying out a pen pal initiative...." She walked back to her seat continuing to talk.

"I don't get it. What's Jerassic Park anyways?" Ron whispered.

"It's a muggle movie about dinosaurs. Pretty much dragons with out wings - or fire." She whispered back.

"Well that didn't sound too bad. We've ridden a real dragon." Ron assured her. "How do they stop the wingless dragons in the movie?"

"Guns I believe. I didn't personally see it "

"Brilliant." His hand shot up.

"What are you doing?"

"Signing up for one of those pen pals she was talking about. I'll ask for an American one, just in case. They got loads of guns, right? They can owl me one."

"Ronald no one is going to send..." She shook her head, deciding to just let her boyfriend continue.

Harry decided to get a pen pal too. It could be fun?

"I got my first letter from mine but I can't read it." Ginny said as they walked through the woods the next day.

The seventh year Grifindors and Ravenclaws were on their way to 'Free period - Jurassic Park' as it was listed on their schedule.

"Oh cool. Can I see?" Harry reached out, his girlfriend passing out over.

"It's in code?" He tilted his head.

"My pen pal is from Mexico in Central America - the land mass, not the Country. I think it's in Spanish? I need to find a way to translate it."

"Huh. I remember when I was in muggle elementary school we had these books called like the 'dictionary' that had translations for one one language to another."

"Oh? Really? Wow..a dictionary." She said sarcastically. "I've never heard of that!" She rolled her eyes. "Why are you so dense?"

"Well excuse me. I don't spend my life in the library. Speaking of which -Hermione." He turned to face his friend. "Did you get a letter or send one yet?"

"I'm not doing it. This is our last year. I need my full attention on our studies not some childish writing pal." She shook her head. "What could I possibly have to relate to with some vapid other seventh year in a school that hasn't just been through what we went through?"

"It might be fun..I haven't written mine yet but I'm gonna write while we're in the Jurassic Park and probably doodle the dinosaurs." Ron said. Hermione just frowned. The only people she had ever written to while in school was her parents. Writing to someone else would likely just make the lack of their presence in her life hurt more.

"Come on. Don't look so glum." Ron pulled at a lock of her frizzy hair. "We're about to see the wingless dragons!"

Almost as if on command they heard a massive roar go through the area, some of the students rushing forwards to see, others handing back, looking nervous.

The muggle borns we're notably more excited , having grown up with stories of dinosaurs and having watched Jurassic Park and more recently the second movie when it came out three years ago in theaters. Even Harry was excited, his eagerness rubbing off on Ron as he rushed ahead.

Ginny stayed walking beside Hermione as their boyfriends hurried ahead. "So what happens in these movies that has you so bothered?" Ginny questioned. They could feel the ground shake every once in a while now.

"The whole theme of the movies is dinosaurs - Latin for terrible lizard but the way- where brought back to life by science but science can't contain them. I'm not sure magic can do much better."

"Oh. Well if they get out we'll just have to their lizard arses." Ginny grinned. "We've fought much worse."

They had. She wasn't wrong.

Ron and Harry rushed ahead until they finally saw them. They might be technically adults but they were teenagers still too, excitement filling their faces.

They where huge!

Professor Sulsberry was the one uncharge of the dinosaurs, hired to create all off these gigantic lizards by charming fossils. She explains the process while petting a juvenile stegosaurus's head, letting them each so the same.

She explains that as a safety feature they can only live on Jurassic Park grounds - if they step off of it - which should never happen due to many safety features - they will revert back to harmless fossils.

And then... They are free to work on what ever they want. There isn't a set class- a free period where they could do what ever classwork they needed to catch up on. It was honestly quite nice and cool too.

The whole area looked like a tropical paradise with coconut trees and giant ferns.

"I wanna see the movies. How do you watch a muggle movie if it isn't at the muggle theaters?" Ron asked Hermione after dinner, slipping his arm around her shoulder.

"I don't know!" She huffed. "You'd have to find a muggle house with electricity, a tv, VCR and the tapes."

"Oh. Huh. Well, Harry had no friends thanks to his stupid cousin-"

"Gee, thanks Ron." Harry rolled his eyes.

"What happened to you two's houses after your family's left?"

"I don't know." Harry rubbed the stubble on his chin. "You know...I don't think I ever told them we were safe now. I don't even know where to find them to tell them."

Both boys and Ginny looked at Hermione who just shrugged. "I haven't been back and I don't know where they are either. I need to go to the library." She got up, heading out of the room.

"Do you guys think she is upset because she'd rather be finding her parents than in school?" Ginny whispered.

"I don't know. Seventh years can go to Hogsmead on the weekends. If she wants we could apparate to find them this weekend." Harry whispered back. "Where did they go Ron?"

They both looked to him since he was the one dating Hermione.

"I don't know." He frowned. "I just know she said she erased their memory so the Death Eaters couldn't get them. I didn't really ask about it honestly. It makes her upset and I really don't like making her upset, y'know?"

"Yes I get it." Harry nodded.

"What if she doesn't know how to fix their memories? Or what if she can't?" Harry hypothesized. "I mean... She allegedly did the spell well enough to prevent Death Eaters from undoing it. It may be permanent."

"Oh no! That's awful." Ginny frowned deeper. She hasn't thought of that but it would make sense.

"Well ... We can still go to Hogsmeed this weekend." Harry changes the subject. "We need to get out regardless."

"Agreed." Ron nodded. The memories of the final fight was still prominent over the grounds, scorched Earth and broken stone walls.

That night Harry was a bit surprised when he felt a have on his shoulder, smelling Ginny's sweet gem berry shampoo before she even climbing in beside him, curling up.

She did this almost every night at the Weaslies house after the battle at Hogwarts but he hadn't expected her to do it here too- not that he was complaining.

He kissed his girlfriend on top of the head, wordlessly adjusting the blankets around both of them before wrapping his arms around her and closing his eyes, going back to sleep.

"You know, Hermione," Ron said between bites of ham at breakfast, "Ginny snuck into our dorm room last night. You could do the same tonight- or any night. If you want."

"To what end? People would talk- I know the girls whisper about it. You can't tell me the boys don't and I'd rather not be questioned about my personal life by McGonagall when it gets out. Besides, I'm a Prefect."

"Aww come on . Everyone does stuff they shouldn't. I know you heard about those first years with the egg, right?" He paused, asking who ever was on his right to pass the jug of orange juice, refilling his cup.

He offered it to Hermione who nodded and thanked him before they both got back to the point.

"What egg?"

"They had it in the common room today but his it when I came in. You know those first years that are always hanging out? Uh... What's their name? The twin girls with the purple and green streaks in their hair and that boy with the funny accent?"

"Oh, the American cowboy. I know who you mean," Harry joined in, " but I'm not sure their names either. They have an egg? A dragon egg?"

"Well from what I heard them saying when I walked it out sounded like a dinosaur egg."

"No way." Hermione shook her head. "I thought the dinosaurs where supposed to revert to fossils again if the left Jurassic Park?"

"Maybe the whole school is considered part of it?"

"Well that's a useless safety feature. Then again...I guess it can't revert back to a fossil if it was never one to begin with " She pursed her lips. "They shouldn't be doing that. I should say something but really it's not like we didn't get up to things too ... although we had good reason." She teeter totterd between wether to say something or not.

"I doubt they would even know how to hatch it right. Don't you have to keep eggs at a certain temperature and stuff?"

"I tried to hatch an egg once." Ginny commented. "Some type of bird made a nest in one of Mum's flower pots but the gnomes scared it away and there two of the eggs at the house. I got the other one before they could throw it. Put it under my pillow like a tooth."

Harry chuckled. "So- first years aside- we were thinking of going to Hogsmead tomorrow Hermione. You're in, right? You kind of left when we were talking about it before."

"Yes. I'm in. We were talking about finding a way to watch the Jurassic Park movies if I recall. I spoke to the muggle studies teacher and she said she would look into getting a generator, VCR and projector so students can watch not only that but other muggle movies on one of the walls in the Great Hall some evenings."

"Remind her about speakers too." Harry added.

"I'm sure she will remember but I will say something."

The next day opened bright and sunny. Ron was grinning as they started their way to Hogsmead.

"I just got THE COOLEST thing from my pen pal."

"Oh? What's that?" Harry asked, walking with him and Hermione. Ginny was going separately with some friends but would meet up with Harry later.

"I'm interested. What did he send you?" Hermione questioned.

Ron proudly pulled a big ass gun out from under his robes. "Pretty neat, huh? He sent it with a referrals shrinking charm when I told him why I wanted an American pen pal. Said it was a right shame - called it ''child neglect" in fact that I didn't have any growing up."

"Ronald!! Get rid of that thing! Are you daft?! It's dangerous!" Hermione stepped back.

"No, it's fine. I don't have any bullets in it. Yet. I was thinking maybe we could apparate some were today that's I can try it out. I'll put them in them. Besides, is it really any more dangerous than a wand?"

She frowned, feeling rather uncomfortable. Her whole childhood she had heard how dangerous those things were.

"Here." Ron offered, handing her a heavy box. "These are this bullets. You can hold onto those so you know it's not loaded on accent while we're walking, ok 'Mione?" He hoped that would put his girlfriend's mind at ease.

"And your sure it's not loaded now?"

"Positive. And this thing here is the safety. Look." He aimed it at the ground away from them and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.

"Unless I put those bullets in there and turn the safety off nothing can go wrong."

"... Alright." She agreed, pocketing the heavy box of bullets.

"There she is." Harry smiled as Ginny came over to him, giving her a quick peek on the cheek. "You ate lunch already, right?"

Ginny nodded. "Aye. Why do you ask?"

"Ron has something hidden under his robes we're giving to go somewhere private to play with."

Ginny let out a 'pfttt' of laughter at that. "Harry that sounded so wrong. You may want to work on phrasing a tad next time."

"I-" Harry opened his mouth to protest but ended up laughing too after thinking about what he said. "Ok. Let's just go. I think I know the perfect place. We can go to the Shell Cottage. There's plenty of space if we shoot out at the ocean."

"Shoot?" Ginny looked at her brother who just smiled before apparating away.

The other three soon followed. After speaking with Bill and Fluer so they weren't alarmed by the sound the four eighteen year olds - even Hermione - took turns firing it out into the open water. Even Bill and Fluer both gave it a shot.

After a dinner there they began walking the path back to school, turning in for bed when they got there

Really, the screaming should have been a bigger clue something was wrong but Harry Potter was used to screaming in his dreams.

Nightmares had plagued him for years, getting worse every year with every progressively worst thing he'd been through since pretty much birth.

So it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize the screams he head where from outside his dorm entirely.

He sat up suddenly when he did, every nerve in his body instantly on edge.

"Harry, what is it?" Neville Longbottom, he and Ron's other roommate was getting up, pulling slippers and a robe on.

"I don't know. Wake Ron up and meet me downstairs."

Harry didn't hesitate, rushing down the stairs to see...red.

There was a lot of blood sprayed around the room, kids screaming and firing their wands at... "Of course." A pack of dinosaurs had some how found their way in was clearly attacking.

A group of third years where cowering in a corner bearing one off with a chair, another fourth or fifth year was being chased in circles. A first year was on the ground, screaming as three of them bit into him.

Harry instantly tried hurtling spells at the dinosaurs actively biting the boy only to discover why no one else had their wands out. The spell actively ricochet off of the scaly skin, leaving the monster unharmed.

Harry wasted no time, running over instead and kicking one of the dinosaurs hard in the jaw. This got their attention and pulled the three away from the child they where biting and he quickly ran, yelling to keep their attention, hoping one of the other students would tend to the one on the ground.

They started to lose interest a few feet from the dorm... realizing they where turning down a fresh hot meal to chase one that was not a guarantee but Harry set off explosions with his want to get their attention back on him.

There where more in the hallway. Bigger. He wasn't sure how the Jurassic Park moves went but if it was anything like this they may have been horror movies.

There was more screaming out in the hallway. If magic wouldn't work then... He used his wanna to once more call the sword of Grifindor to his side and began swinging it with reckless abandon.

It seemed to go on forever. Harry's muscles where burning and screaming from overuse by the time there were no more in sight. He was wet and sticky with dinosaurs blood and had been bitten more than a few times.

He wasn't the only one. Teachers and some of the older students had picked up what ever weapon they had, yanking swords off walls and away from suits of armor to join in the fray.

Harry sat down right where he stood, back against a stone wall, watching incase more came.

He hoped everyone was ok up upstairs but for now he wanted to stay here and make sure no more showed up.

It wasn't until about an hour later he got the full story from the others, Ginny and Hermione both running over to hug him.

"We were worried about you Harry. Look at you. We should get one of the medical witches over here."

Headmistress McGonagall had called in Witches and Wizards from the ministry as soon as she knew what was going on who were currently sweeping the castle for any remaining dinosaurs, healing injured students and trying to figure out what happened.

She was not taking any chances, unlike her predecessor.

"I'm fine." Harry insisted. "At least for now. What happened? Is that first year they were trying to eat alright?"

"We got him up into the dorm away from the other dinosaurs. Neville treated him with a bunch of herbs he had them Hermione came over and did some healing stuff too."

"There wasn't time to wait for help." She explained. "Me and Neville only got him stable enough to make it until a real healer arrived. They are working on him now but say he'll make a full recovery."

"That's good." Harry nodded. "Did any make it into the girls dorm?"

"Some did," Ginny nodded, "but the students with brooms began evacuating everyone out the window then one would fly up with all the brooms to get the more out until only the first years who can't fly where left."

"There where four dinosaurs left between the common room and trying to get into the girls dorm. I shot three of them." Ron explained. "And Hermione shot one- and my arm." He pointed to his bandaged biceps. "It's my bad arm anyways so no big loss. I'll have one of the healers look at it later."

"It was an accident." She insisted. "We only had a little bit of practice with that thing!"

"Don't worry!" Ron hugged her with his non-injured arm. "I'm not mad, your we're brilliant. She still had my bullets and I threw her the gun at first over to of a dinosaur." Ron explained to Harry.

"Well I'm just glad everyone is alright." Harry sighed, getting to his feet. "Ugh, I'm exhausted. I'm used to fueling with a wand not a heavy sword. I'm getting too old for this."

They checked in with one of the teachers and went to wait to get treated for injuries then hours later were cleared to go.

While the school was yet again being cleared and investigated after a battle they where told they could go home if they wanted and classes would resume in a week.

For now at least none of them wanted to wake Mrs. Weasely in the wee hours of the morn so they opted to go crash in Hagrid's hutt.

The next day Harry didn't wake up until after noon, heading back into the castle. He didn't have to look far to find Headmistress McGonagall, finding her in the Great Hall eating lunch with the students who remained on premise.

"Did you find out what happened?" Harry asked with out preamble, already expecting to be given nothing of use as an answer.

"Yes. Some remaining Death Eaters that had not been involved in the battle got wind of the Jurassic Park area and used some rather nasty charms to make them attack and impervious to most spells. It is being dealt with to make sure it doesn't happen again."

Harry blinked. He wasn't used to straight answers from the adults in this school and what's more them actually finding out what was going on and fixing the problem themselves. "Thanks for telling me Head Mistress." Was all he said.

"Of course. I'm glad everyone made it through alright." She pursed her lips into an even thinner line than normal. "This school has seen too much death recently."

Harry just nodded in agreement, moving to get some food.

That was only his first week of school. Hopefully the rest of his second attempt at year seven would go better.