45 [M4A] Toronto So confused, why I love my wife fucking other guys

We have been into this since we started dating and I just can't get over it,

I love it, and by some coincidence she loves it too.

Yet there are times when i get very upset, although in hindsight even those times i eventually end up reflecting on it and accepting it.

I miss it so much when she sometinmes takes a break.

what shoud i do?

continue to enable and encourage it? or just tell her it is tme to put this behind us?