Ive made other posts in more detail about my situation, but the long and short of it is the day before my second trimester started the baby daddy I was getting ready to move in with accused me of stealing from him and snooping in his home, It was our first fight. Me not wanting him at my prenatal appointment led to everything spiraling after. I begged for us to discuss some sort of plan, these were the only responses I ever got. The last message I ever sent was three months ago now, my due date is in 55 days. 

I'm uncomfortable with inviting him into my home postpartum. I have support from my parents and am in a safe environment if I did want to comply to a supervised visit.. ive accepted hes taking me to court regardless. He already sees me as keeping his kid from him during my pregnancy. Part of me wants to say if he really wanted to put me through this stress throughout my pregnancy thst ive had to now go through alone he should jump through every legal hoop for the right to see his son and stress me out more in the most vunerable part of my life, another part of me is worried that comes from some bitter place and not a self protection. Id have given anything for him to just communicate with me like a person. I dont want to be the evil parent or charged with parental alienation, but him establishing paternity does buy me some time..

Maybe its the hormones. I stay constantly torn between the decision. In theory id love to invite him over to see his newborn, would even offer my bed and take the couch since its a 3 hour drive between us. My parents would be home. Id be safe.

The other part of me knows ive worked full time this entire pregnancy. Ive painted and built up the nursery and supplies I have from nothing. Ive went to appointments alone. He blocked me on everything. Meanwhile Ive seen from friends he has a countdown app to my due date and his own baby registry, literally sitting there miles away just waiting to reap the rewards, and I feel sick and dont want to give an inch for him to take a mile. At the same time whether I like it or not, hes the father. One day my son will ask why I kept him away, and I dont even know what id say to that.

Should I swallow my pride and invite him to meet his newborn?