The Human Condition - Ch 102: Remember, Remember

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“Ideas are bulletproof” - V, V for Vendetta

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POP!

Cutting through the casual chatter of the mostly-full presentation room, a short but sharp bang echoed off the thermocast walls and ceiling. At once, every marine in the room turned their heads to look for the source of the noise. Some even stood and tensed like they were about to leap into action, Lil’ae being among them.

“WHO HERE LIKES EXPLOSIONS!?” Al interrupted her thought process by yelling enthusiastically from over by the doorway, where Lil’ae could see Ralph and another human entering the room behind him. Ralph pulled his fingers out of his ears and grinned at his friend’s antics. Seeing this, Lil’ae relaxed herself.

“ME!” Kerr’na yelled, raising her hand and jumping up and down.

Beside her, Lil’ae could hear Hara and Bel’tara chuckling as the tension in the room was defused. Sae’li had her head tilted in curiosity, and Be’ora sat tensely in her chair, gripping the arms as if the bang had reminded her of some bad memory.

“You okay?” Lil’ae whispered to her.

“Fine,” Be’ora whispered back, untensing herself. She didn’t quite seem fine to Lil’ae, but that was probably a topic best addressed later, in private.

“WELL, YOU”RE IN LUCK! BECAUSE TONIGHT WE”RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT CELEBRATING WITH EXPLOSIONS!!” Al continued his yelling.

Serving as long as they had on Earth, the crowd of marines had a somewhat mixed reaction to his declaration. Some frowned, some clapped politely, a few yelled excitedly back, and a few just sat there not sure what to think. Lil’ae was one of the people clapping politely. She had enjoyed the past presentations that had been given to the battalion on democracy and jury trials, and was wondering what this one would be about. Still, she retained a degree of apprehension about Phillip’s presentation, which she was helping with, and which was scheduled to come right after this one.

“Ahem,” Ralph cleared his throat as he grabbed the microphone at the podium on the stage. “What he meant to say was that tonight we will be covering the history and cultural significance of an upcoming holiday: the Fourth of July. To get everyone’s attention, we set off a small, mostly harmless, low-grade chemical explosive device commonly known as a firecracker. We would like to preemptively apologize to the janitorial staff, because it appears to have left a black smudge on the floor.”

As he spoke, the third human pulled up a slideshow on the big screen. The first slide was titled ‘

“Anyways, let’s start from the beginning!” Al declared.

“Depeding on how strong you want your evidence to be, the ancestors to modern humans began to use fire as tool somewhere between 2,000,000 and 400,000 years ago–” Ralph said, as an artist’s rendering of several humans, clothed in animal furs and sitting around a campfire, came up.

“Not that far back!” Al interjected.

“Ok, more recently, circa 800 AD, or roughly 3500 by the Imperial Calendar…” he let that oddly impossible statement hang in the air for a second before continuing. “Of China. By the Imperial system you are probably more familiar with, it was around 525.”

Since it was currently 1291 Aera Imperii, 3500 was still more than 2000 years in the future! But Lil’ae guessed that the brush with absurdity had a rhetorical purpose: hammering home how long human civilization had been around. Thousands of years on the calendar before the Imperial count even began was ancient. Lil’ae had previously been exposed to the scale of human antiquity through her work on Frangil’tar Gai’vati, but there were doubtless women in the room who were being shocked by the revelation.

“At this time, in China, gunpowder was invented. Likely not by one person, but over multiple generations, it was probably refined from a fast burning powder into a low explosive. And so they found uses for it, both military and civilian. Like the name suggests, the powder was used in guns and primitive grenades. But it was also used in fireworks, or rather firecrackers, because the earliest versions were just loud, and provided little visual spectacle, like the one we demonstrated earlier.”

As Ralph explained, old illustrations of early guns and pyrotechnics were displayed on the screen. 

“But things really picked up once the science of chemistry developed. Now we could make glowing particles of color we wished streak across the sky. So we did.”

Now there was a picture of a very complex fireworks display, with multiple vibrant colors and a variety of different patterns, all captured by a digital camera. It wasn’t just pyrotechnics which had advanced over time.

“Hell yeah!” Al commented. He was doing pretty good as a hype man; Lil’ae was starting to get excited about the presentation herself.

“But to follow up on the other side of gunpowder,” Ralph said as the slide behind him flipped to a picture of a gunpowder weapon. “It became the instrument and fuel of war. Massed pike formations and even cavalry charges faltered and fell under a hail of bullets. Cannons blasted down walls and splintered ships into timbers. Obviously, both of these things are loud. Loud, with explosions. You know what else is loud, with explosions? That’s right, fireworks. So fireworks can easily be associated with war. With victory in war.”

On the screen now was a picture of a conquering general with fireworks going off behind him.

“Focusing on one specific place and specific time, 400 years ago in England across the Atlantic, there was once a religious dispute. Long story short, it got so bad that some people decided they wanted to blow up the king.”

Some women gasped in surprise. They must not have paid attention in Imperial history class, because plenty of monarchs had been murdered over religion back in the old, pre-unification days.

 “So they rented a basement right next to the building where the king was planning to meet with all his ministers, and they filled it with barrels of gunpowder. Luckily for the king and his ministers, the Gunpowder Plot, as it was called, was discovered, and the conspirators were executed. In the years afterward, it became a tradition to light bonfires and set off fireworks on the date to mark the anniversary of the king’s divine deliverance. Ironic, really, to act out in miniature what the king’s bloody fate might have been.”

The slides continued, from pictures of an old human king and the criminals being executed, to photos of bonfires and more fireworks.

“[Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot, 

For I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot,]” Al recited in English.

“Not long after the plot, the Kingdom of England, later called Britain, began to colonize another continent. This continent. And among the colonists, celebrating the anniversary of the plot was very popular. So popular, in fact, that it practically became a yearly riot. The main participants were the poor and lower class. Many were sailors. Of course, the colonial government didn’t like this unlawful ruckus very much, so they tried to outlaw it. And failed. At least six separate times they passed laws against it that failed to stop it.

Why? Well, their constables and the militia they called up to suppress it had a tendency to join in. After all, they weren’t rich, and who doesn’t like an excuse to get drunk and party all night?”

“Only losers!” Al interjected. 

“Then, around 150 years since the colonization began, there was a war. A war with a rival power over acquiring more territory for the American colonies. They won the war, but the King of England and his council of nobles decided that the American colonists ought to be taxed more in order to pay for it. After all, they were the ones who benefitted! But this proved incredibly unpopular. Why? Were the Americans just ungrateful assholes? Partly, but partly not. You see, there were no American nobles on the king’s council. In fact, there really weren’t any American nobles at all, at least in the traditional sense of the word. The thirteen colonies were instead run by councils of commoners*.*”

“Damn prissy fools wouldn’t dare to gallivant off to the remote wilderness with all the poor people! Where’s the glory or influence to be found in doing that?” Al commented, sticking out his tongue in mockery. “Also spending months cooped up on a ship sucks!”

That particular comment struck a bit of a chord with the room full of marines, as well as Lil’ae. All of them had spent more time than most confined aboard spaceships with only the basic necessities to hand, and they could all roll their eyes at nobles getting larger and more luxurious quarters to entice them into the service.

“So when the taxes were implemented, there was no one speaking up for the Americans on the council. Also the colonies had largely been left to their own devices prior to the war, so they saw this as a severe violation of the status quo. So they protested. Troops loyal to the king were sent over…. and private citizens were forced to house them. And there were clashes that resulted in deaths.”

For the first time during the presentation, someone raised their hand with a question. Lil’ae could also tell that Sae’li was listening to this part with rapt attention. 

“Yes?” Ralph called on the woman with her hand raised.

“When you say that private citizens were forced to house them, do you mean, like, in their actual houses?”

“Yes. A soldier could walk up to your house, knock on the door, and not ask, but demand food and shelter. They could kick people out of their own homes in the dead of winter if they saw fit.”

That got the women of the regiment murmuring.

“And that’s why political rights are so important,” Sae’li whispered to no one. But Hara overheard.

“And also sensible and restrained commanders,” the rakiri added, not contesting her point. Was Hara starting to come around to a less staunchly anti-democracy position, or was this example just too extreme, even for her?

“So the Americans started to stockpile guns in secret, and practiced using them. The British general obviously didn’t like this, so he sent about a battalion of troops to seize the weapons once he heard of them. However, the Americans were warned, and were able to prepare. They assembled, and eventually confronted the British troops. Then…”

POW!

There was another bang, and a little puff of smoke rose up from in front of Al, who was standing there with a massive grin on his face.

“FIRE!” Al yelled. 

“In those days, guns were unreliable. Someone’s, nobody knows whose, went off. The British then fired a volley, thinking they had been fired upon, and war began. The war lasted 7 of our years, and involved a number of other kingdoms that hated the British, but in the end through struggle and bloodshed, independence was won.”

“BRITS GO HOME!” Al yelled, disparaging their old human adversaries in lieu of shouting something significantly more treasonous. It was a subtlety that did not go unnoticed by Lil’ae’s friends:

“Bet he wanted to yell ‘America fuck yeah!’ ” Sae’li whispered.

“Is that what they say? Or said?” Lil’ae whispered back.

“I think so.”

“But if we rewind to the month of July, 1776, not long after the war started, we find something interesting happened. Since each of the regions of America had been administered by a council, and they needed to work together to win the war, they convened a council of councils. This council, or the Continental Congress as it was called, would make decisions for the Americans in lieu of a monarch.

On the second of July, they passed a motion. This motion was very important because it declared the colonies to be independent. In fact, it was called the Declaration of Independence. It listed all the issues the colonists had with the king and his council, and declared that they would no longer be bound by the King’s laws or will. On the Fourth of July, the Declaration was promulgated to the people of the colonies. Of course, travel being slower back then, it took time for news to spread. 

Since in America we decided that the law is king, the date of the official Declaration would become a day of celebration. Taking the fireworks of earlier celebrations and adding the symbolism of guns that took us to victory, the Fourth became a celebration of such importance that I would compare it to the Empress’ birthday and Imperium Day combined. 

But the Fourth of July is not just about independence or hating the British or anything like that. It is a celebration of ideas. Because America wasn’t a country founded by a monarch or descended from some ancient tribe. No, it was founded by the council of councils, and it was founded on principles. Principles like fair trials, rule of law, democracy, and freedom of religion. A government of the people, by the people, and for the people.”

With that, a decent commotion broke out as a bunch of women started saying things at once.

“HEY! ONE AT A TIME!” Al shouted over them. Shamed into silence, the room quieted back down, and a bunch of women raised their hands.

“You,” Ralph said, pointing at one of them.

“Where do the colors red, white, and blue come into this? You guys always seem to be using those in relation to this holiday, right?”

“Those are the colors of the American flag. That’s why. You guys seem to like the purple on the Imperial Banner. We have red, white, and blue instead.”

“So the guns and fireworks are both because of war?” Another woman asked.

“Yes, in a way. It’s a celebration of the victory of our ideas.”

“But you lost,” a third woman interjected.

“Have we?”

“You lost! You surrendered, and America doesn’t exist anymore!” she said angrily.

“Well, I’m an American, and I’m still here,” Ralph said. “And if you think it has truly disappeared, I invite you to attend next week’s Fourth of July festivities. In fact, I invite all of you to come! I have heard that there will be fireworks and a barbecue open to all.”

That was new. Lil’ae hadn’t heard about there being any sort of official celebration. From what she heard, there were usually a lot of hidden parties, but not open ones where Imperial Marines were invited! But wait, there was no way they would ever be allowed to go to a Fourth of July celebration. Surely Colonel Lo’tic would forbid it, even if a lot of women tried to request leave. Especially because too many of them would probably try to request leave.

Looking over people’s heads for him, Lil’ae spotted him sitting off to the side, shaking his head. 

“We’re not going to be able to go, are we?” Sae’li whispered, looking over Lil’ae’s shoulder.

“I’m not optimistic,” Lil’ae whispered back.

“ORDER! ONE AT A TIME!” Al yelled again over the crowd.

“Someone get that man a microphone before he loses his voice,” Hara commented.

This time, Sae’li raised her hand with a question. Ralph called on other people first, but he eventually got to her:

“So, when you say America celebrates the Fourth of July, are you talking about the continent of North America, or the old country of America?”

“Good question. We’re talking about the country, The countries of Mexico and Canada had their own Independence Days they celebrated. Canada’s was–is coincidentally on the First of July, and I don’t remember when Mexico’s is.”

“And were they also colonies of the British King?” Sae’li asked.

“Canada was, but not Mexico. Mexico was a Spanish colony.”

“There were more colonies that broke free from different Kingdoms?” Sae’li asked.

“Hah! More colonies? Absolutely. It’s a bit beyond the scope of this presentation, but the majority of Earth has been under the control of a colonial power at one point or another. And even the areas that never were have their own national days of celebration that are equally important to them. So if you ever end up visiting elsewhere on Earth, make sure you research before you go! Don’t be pulling a Franz Ferdinand.”

“That many colonies on their own planet? And they all broke free?” Bel’tara muttered. “Humans are insane.”

“Franz Ferdinand?” Lil’ae asked.

“The man who died to start the First World War,” Be’ora explained. “He visited a recently annexed territory and was assassinated. He was the heir to an Empire.”

“Huh.” Lil’ae could certainly see parallels with the modern day there. She wondered if any members of the Imperial family would be willing to risk visiting Earth in its current state.

Ralph called on yet another woman. This one seemed kind of nervous.

“Uh, nice history and all… but wouldn’t it still be treason to celebrate it?”

“Good question!” Ralph said. “Did you hear that everyone? This woman asked exactly how legal celebrating the Fourth of July is! The answer is that there isn’t one! In Pennsylvania, Imperial courts have not yet ruled on the topic! There have been people imprisoned or executed for treason, but as far as the records show, they all shot unprovoked at marines. People have been charged for illegal possession of pyrotechnics or assault against officers of the law. But no one has ever been charged for celebrating the Fourth of July!”

That wasn’t entirely unexpected. When prosecuting someone, you went for the easier charges to prove first. Or the most politically expedient charges. As a result, sedition was a rare charge these days, especially after the Empress had pardoned a couple of particularly vehement critics only a year into her reign. That move had earned her a lot of good will, and political debate in the Imperium had been a little livelier ever since.

“I see,” the woman said. “We would be risking a court martial, then.”

“By your superior officer? Hey, Colonel, would you court-martial a gal for enjoying a barbecue and some official, on-the-books fireworks?” Ralph said, deliberately dragging Lo’tic into this. Lil’ae could tell he seemed slightly annoyed at that.

“Perhaps you should be more concerned with if you would even be able to get leave, Private?” Lo’tic tactfully responded. 

“I have—”

Just then, Lieutenant Colonel Sa’zell burst into the presentation room, backed by several marines in armor carrying fire extinguishers.

“Where is the conflagration located!?” she said very loudly, interrupting whatever the private may have been about to say.

“Relax, everything’s alright. There is no fire,” Ralph said, trying to calm her down.

“The chemical detectors say otherwise! Marines, detain him and the other humans until we can determine if they have engaged in sabotage!”

“Belay that!” Colonel Lo’tic yelled. “Leiutenant Colonel, I can attest that there is no fire. You can stand down.”

“But we must conduct a thorough survey of the area before we can stand down the alarm,” Sa’zell countered. “And they could have started a fire in a hidden location! We have to be sure, sir!”

“I am sure there is no fire,” Lo’tic said. “They merely set off two small pyrotechnic devices as a part of their presentation.”

“Pyrotechnics!? Are they licensed!? As part of a presentation? What sort of presentation could possibly require the use of pyrotechnics?? …sir.,” she added, nearly as an afterthought. “Show me your licenses!" she demanded of Ralph and Al.

“Devices containing less than 1.5 grams of gunpowder or equivalent low explosive do not require any sort of certification besides a valid Imperial ID to purchase,” Ralph stated, as Al pulled something out his pocket.

“If you wish to inspect the devices used, you will find that they are perfectly legal,” Al said, holding out a colorful plastic package towards the Lt. Colonel.

“Sir!” she said, turning back towards Lo’tic. “Surely this is unacceptable behaviour for guests on our base? They are behaving like hooligans, and should clearly not be allowed to continue!”

“I have already granted them permission,” Lo’tic responded. “They ran the idea by me first, and I approved it. However, I have no doubt that they will be so kind as to clean up the stains the charges have left behind after they are done.”

“Yes, sir!” Al said, saluting. “I shall swab the deck in penance for my devious ways!”

“They have damaged Imperial property?” Sa’zell asked.

“Not damaged. Smudged. Who cares about a floor tile or two anyways?” Al flippantly corrected her. Lilae thought he was playing with fire, joking around with Miss Lieutenant-Manual, as she had unceremoniously been dubbed.

“Willfully damaging Imperial property is a crime, and can carry a sentence of up to 20 years in prison. In this case, since you have practically admitted to it, under the provisions of martial law which are currently in effect, myself and the other marines in this room are empowered to–”

“That won’t be necessary, Lt. Colonel,” Lo’tic said, walking up to Sa’zell. “He has done us no actual harm, and certainly harbors no malice towards us.”

“But–”

“No. I order you to stand down. In fact, you should not have stood up in the first place,” Lo’tic said, lowering his voice from its elevated level before continuing. “I instructed you to hold down the fort while I was supervising this training personally. You did not attempt to contact me to verify anything before acting. Did you pull these marines from the patrol assigned to guard duty?

“Yes, I–”

“Then you have violated standing orders for this region for a false alarm. If it were a real alarm, it would perhaps be justified, but we need to get those women back on guard duty now, and you need to start trusting me when I say things. Failure to notify me of the alarm was also a breach of protocol.”

Being chastised for breaking the rules seemed to actually knock some sense into Sa’zell, and her eyes widened in shock.

“I formally apologize for my reckless behaviour,” she said. “2nd Patrol, return the firefighting equipment to their proper locations and then resume your duty on watch without delay.”

With that, the women trooped off just as suddenly as they had arrived, and Sa’zell went with them. 

“Apologies for that. If you would, you may now continue your presentation,” Lo’tic said, turning towards where Ralph, Al, and the third human were on the stage.

“Well, I think we were pretty close to done,” Ralph said. “Unless anyone else had any questions?”

“It isn’t a proper Fourth of July party until you get the firefighters called on you!” Al continued to joke about the whole thing.

~

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