weight loss calorie calculator

I've been attempting to lose weight since January and the conflicting information from various calculators is absolutely maddening. Every weight loss calorie calculator gives different numbers and I'm starting to think they're all just making things up.

context: last monday I decided to do it right this time. Downloaded three different apps, consulted two websites, and even bought a fitness tracker. One app says eat 1,200 calories (which seems dangerously low), another says 1,700, and my new $300 fitness tracker suggests 1,450. That's a 500 calorie difference.

What really annoys me is how each calculator asks for different information. Some want to know if I'm lightly active or moderately active. well, I chase after three kids all day but also work at a desk, so which is it? Others ask about my "exercise intensity" ... is yelling at my son to clean his room considered high intensity?

The premium app I paid $9.99 for (yes, I fell for it) promised a "personalized metabolic calculation" but gave me the exact same number as the free website. Complete waste of money.

for two weeks i followed the 1,200 calorie recommendation and I was exhausted, was snapping at everyone, and then binged on an entire sleeve of Girl Scout cookies. So much for that plan.

Does anyone have a weight loss calorie calculator that actually works for real people with real lives? Or should I just accept that these calculators are as reliable as my teenager's promise to clean his room?