IDL that we blame single mothers for the actions of men

Few members of society are looked down on more than single mothers. Like the view seems to be that they made bad life choices, they were irresponsible, and the consequence is they're raising a kid on their own and that kid will have damage because of it. In contrast I feel single fathers are generally viewed with sympathy, we assume something terrible happened to them and they're being heroic for raising a child on their own.

Where is the other half of this equation in our view of single mothers? The absent father who simply opted out of fatherhood and ruined the lives of both mother and child?

What gets me is the hypocrisy of the advice we give women who hope to avoid this fate. Choose better, use protection etc. I myself was once a young woman, I'm lucky I never got pregnant, but I tried to do everything right and responsible and yet "choice" was still often taken away from me. I committed the awful crime of falling in love with charm as young women often do, which later turned out to be false, because I approached men in good faith and took them at their word. So it's very easy for me to understand how a young woman could end up becoming a single mother through deception, manipulation and abuse.

But nowadays with social media, many young women are waking up. We're becoming less trusting of men, less naive, passing each other advice online on how to keep ourselves safe and make more discerning choices. For instance I follow a divorce lawyer online (Tanya) who gives great advice that I've been implementing in my own relationship with a man, to hopefully avoid and mitigate the potential financial risks of choosing to tie my lot to a man. And in response, many men will now accuse women of misandry, complain about being left behind and that women are hypergamous bitches, as if they didn't spend the decades prior telling us to "choose better". Well, we did choose better, and it seems that sometimes precludes you. We're choosing loyal, financially stable men who invest in us and don't view women as sex objects, we're asking for STD tests and prenups, and we're not having sex on the first date. This is how we avoid becoming single mothers, by avoiding the men who create single mothers. Yet those same men who shame single mothers have the audacity to complain that we've become so discerning and distrustful that they can't get a date without jumping through a bunch of hoops.