Labial cyst and hating everything about it

I had a labial cyst is 2023 and it went away with sitz baths after a few days. It’s returned and i noticed it March 9th. It’s now April 1st. I went in and got a first round of antibiotics. It helped! Continued taking baths. Then it ran out and my cyst grew back.

It’s frustrating because I’m sure it’s that I’ve been wearing tight work out clothes. I’m just trying to get back on track. I’m super unhappy with my body. I was doing different forms of exercise for two weeks, solid. And I do stairs, bike, elliptical. Which I’m sure is causing friction.

I’m angry at myself for not being able to get on a good exercise schedule.

I’m panicking about getting it drained. But it’s not going away! It’s about the size of a grape. I went back to urgent care for another round of the same antibiotics. Not helping now.

I just have trauma with vaginal procedures. I had to have a LEEP procedure done. I’ve had pretty traumatic child births. And I’m pretty tough with pain but I really don’t wanna do this.

I keep doomscrolling on Reddit with women saying it’s so painful. I really don’t want to go through this but I feel that I have to. And then it’s not even guaranteed that the cyst will stay gone!!!!!!!

I don’t want a weird catheter in there. I don’t have time for any surgeries or anything. I literally just started a new job. I’m so overwhelmed and I hate being a girl.

One other thing, I’m pretty positive I have endometriosis but they did an ultrasound in ER and found nothing. That was traumatic too. The tech went all up in there.

I want to cry.

That’s all.