My mom said god made me trans as a “test” for her

Lowk all I do is complain but I think this is mean to say. I guess I’m selfish but it feels like it ignores me and focuses it on here. She always reminds me that I’m a man and that HRT won’t do anything for me. She doesn’t need to remind me I know.

I hate that I’m just an obstacle for everyone. I’m such a useless person tbh I mess up anything I do. I don’t know what to do when it feels like I can’t do anything. I’m thinking of giving up on transition because I don’t think I’ll get even close to what I used to hope for.