slept for 1/2 my life. 20. idk what to do

i slept and avoided years of my life. YEARS. i don’t find a place in it for myself. (20) and haven’t consistently gone to school or anything since i was 10. mentally, socially i’m still a 5th/6th grader. truly.

i genuinely don’t wanna be here. i’m not offing myself, i just don’t see a point in it for me. idk what to do.

also; please don’t say “one day at a time/one step at a time”. that really pisses me off. nor “get a job” or “grow up”.

there’s things i wanna do with life, like play pro sports. i know i can if i try, i just don’t wanna start from here